licking daddy’s apple

Nine months old.

I’m typing that quickly and moving right along, because dwelling on that fact will reduce me to tears.

Last week she figured out how to do an army crawl of sorts. Up until then, she’d been rolling over, over, over until she reached her destination. Suddenly, that phase is over. I was sad to see it go. It was just so cute. So now she’s all over the place, faster and faster.

And suddenly she cries — huge tears — when I lay her down to change her. Mobility has, for whatever reason, inspired a sudden willfulness that, until now, seemed nonexistent. It’s pretty funny how quickly she can cue the tears — and how suddenly they stop when I get her attention and firmly say, no.

She still is the easiest, easiest baby I’ve had. She still naps for hours (Jameson would give me 20 minutes, tops, until he was 18 months old!) and lays down eagerly when she’s tired. At night she sleeps with me, since that’s the most restful way for me to accommodate her when she wakes to nurse.

Her eyes are big and beautiful, and are more and more aware of what’s going on around her. Watching a baby grow, seeing their person develop, is just an amazing thing.

I just wish it happened a little bit more slowly.

psalm 138

I will give You thanks with all my heart;
I will sing praises to You before the gods.
I will bow down toward Your holy temple
And give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name.

On the day I called, You answered me;
You made me bold with strength in my soul.

All the kings of the earth will give thanks to You, O LORD,
When they have heard the words of Your mouth.
And they will sing of the ways of the LORD,
For great is the glory of the LORD.
For though the LORD is exalted,
Yet He regards the lowly,
But the haughty He knows from afar.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You will revive me;
You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.

The LORD will accomplish what concerns me;
Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting ;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

I love love the Word of God. (That’s not to be confused with read reading the Word, as I’m always wishing and wanting to do better at making Bible reading more of a priority.) I am amazed at the miracle it is — how alive it is, thousands of years later. Tozer wrote about that in his book The Knowledge of the Holy — about how the voice of God continues to reverberate through time, and those “sound waves” have creative power in those who hear. Think about it: I have read a passage tens, dozens, hundreds of times, and suddenly! Suddenly it’s alive in my heart. Suddenly it speaks to deadness and there is life, chains and there is freedom, old and there is new. And those alive fragments of scripture that are hidden deeply in my heart, they change me and shape me into who I am. Every thought process, every life event is seen through those living, powerful Words. What a gift.

Now and then, someone mentions that they’ve not really read much of the Bible, usually (if they’re talking to me!) they’re busy with kids, and they don’t really know where to start. With that in the back of my mind, I’ve decided to post a favorite passage, with or without commentary, for the next several days. Whether familiar or brand new to you, I hope you enjoy right along with me.

psalm 16:5-11

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.

I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.
For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Verses 5 and 6 are always in my heart — when I’m fearful about the future, wondering why my life is the way it is, worried that I’m not cut out for “it”, needing to surrender and declare that Jesus is my reward — those words keep me on track.

He gives counsel, He makes steadfast, in Him my heart is glad.

And “You will show me the path of life” — is there any greater truth?

This morning the boys woke up and quickly donned crocs and sweatshirts (in “secret”, with my help, and lots of whispers and asking me to plug my ears…)

Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny day. We were able to visit friends and sit in their yard for hours, watching kids play. Then a party celebrating the wonderful accomplishments of a dear friend from Cameroon (with amazing, amazing food. Wow.)

The boys and I walked home from church today. I just couldn’t get in the car when I stepped out of church and smelled spring. Now they’re napping, my husband and brother are hashing out javascript issues, and I’ve just cut a fresh bunch of daffodils. Down the road, sisters are preparing dinner for all of the local Sinclair members — a gift to Brietta and me for Mother’s Day.

And actually, all of these things — birds singing, baby kisses, washing dirty feet before bed, a house that is home even if it’s a bit messy — so many things are gifts.

With only a few exceptions, I did it. I managed to post [almost!] every day for a month. Lots of photos, lots of anecdotal bits, a few thoughts I’m glad I caught before they flitted away — but mostly, the renewed discipline of thinking, recalling, enjoying, meditating, and just pausing.

For instance, because I’m posting more, I’m keeping my flickr account updated. And because I’m doing that regularly, I end up taking more pictures. And photos are just a way for me to see what I may otherwise miss.

Like yesterday:

Jameson, who was completely wrapped up in his coloring…

…William, who woke well before 6 and then found the day a bit hard to bear…

…and Beatrice, who has clocked twice as many hours in her basket as both boys combined. So sweet.

We woke in fog, but the sun came out. And so we played:

the men played golf

william pushed beatrice…

…and she loved it.

it got even better when she managed to suck her thumb, too

jameson loves to run waaaaay down the edge of papa’s lawn

auntie sarah’s got skillz, too

spiderman masks from auntie sarah!

going for a walk with sarah

beatrice and i had to wait on the path. no off-roading for us.

ho hum.

just kidding.

olive loved beatrice instantly

who can resist a chance to explore those rocks?