I can’t imagine there will be many more opportunities to write in this before the big day. The countdown is getting close. (Did I ever think it would really be only 9 days away?!)
Half a dozen times each day, I find myself overwhelmed with one emotion or another, whether it be leaving home, perfecting plans, or wondering how long before Ryan and I really understand one another’s communication. Any one of these things would usually be carefully processed and prayed about and not impede the progress of my day. But all at once? All at once is a different story. Inevitably, I end up living the day with the gnawing fear that I’m not spending enough time with Merrick, with Mom, with Ryan, with my projects, with the Lord… Agghhh!
And so last night when Ryan shared his heart once again—how he wants to serve the Lord each day, doing whatever is before us, and finding peace in the calling as servant—I took a deep breath. Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m a Christian. Worry is not just pointless, but sin. Each moment is ordained by the Lord, and each one is better than the one before (Proverbs 4). I don’t have to carefully craft my life in order to love enough, give enough, live enough; He crafts it perfectly. If I have memories and wonderful relationships and a bright future, it’s because I’ve trusted Him with each day. And if I started that way, with such wonderful results, why would I continue on my own strength and wisdom?
There are so many things coming to a close, and so many things about to begin–but what a beautiful moment to live, like the carefully orchestrated modulation at the climax of a symphony. My eyes are on Him, the baton is in His hand, and the sound will be nothing less than heavenly.
Yesterday is gone–
went and left it far behind me.
Tomorrow’s a gossamer dream.
I know I said that You could have my whole life.
Well, I guess there’s not much that I’m holding–
I guess there is only this moment,
So You can have today. (–me!)