Date Archives → September 2010

bits of life

It’s been way too many years (okay, only 3, but still…) since I experienced fall on the East Coast. And oh, how I love it. And I’ve never known autumn to arrive so on cue. I swear, the trees were all a dull green on September 20, and then September 21 — BAM! Orange! Red! Everywhere!

After haircuts on the afternoon of the 21st, we couldn’t help but be struck by the bright, almost neon, orange maple trees across the street from my sister’s salon. Actually, it was Jameson who was struck:

“Look! Mom! Those trees are orange! Do you see that, Mom?”

“Beautiful, huh? Isn’t it amazing?”

Pause while he takes in the wonder.

“Mom, I never saw that before!”

And it’s true, I realized. He hasn’t ever seen a gorgeous, dressed-for-autumn maple tree. And he’s totally in love with this transformation happening all around us, and happily made a little bouquet of red leaves for our table. Perfect.

*****

Of course, along with dramatic gray skies spread over vibrant foliage, the sniffles have also arrived. We had a good, long night of interrupted sleep that ended with Mama and two stuffed up boys all “sleeping” together.

This morning called for warm cornmeal mush, cozy new socks, and a candle. Not so bad, right?

*****

And then there’s this adorableness of Jameson suddenly deciding to set up a hotel. He’s got a little makeshift counter, an old computer keyboard, and he sweetly asks, “Would you like a bedroom?” (type, type, type.) “Okay, five dollars.” (type, type, type.) Then he leads his customer (William, 9 times out of 10), to one of our rooms. Although just now, I heard him lead William to our hall closet, open the doors, and say, “Here’s our elevator. Will this be okay, or do you want another elevator?”

And of course, William just agrees with it all: “Da.”

the morning sky…

When my alarm went off this morning, there was no scarlet-hued sky to greet me. I think this is the first morning since living here that the clouds were so heavy and gray that they blocked the sunrise. So I made my own light: I lit a candle.

Yesterday morning was make-and-freeze food day, and the savory scent of onion and garlic still lingers. Pumpkin spice candle joins, and suddenly it smells like Christmas.

Last night we walked home from a family dinner at my parents’ house. The air was warm and heavy, the wind thick with a soon-to-come thunderstorm. Lightning flickered on the horizon, and our little family of four excitedly pointed out each flash, trying to guess where the next would appear.

I love our little family.

Today, I hope, will be a hunker down and be together kind of day. It’s been so, so busy. Fun and busy, but busy.

Sunday was a reminder to me of the gospel, and grace that I don’t derserve [so stop trying to.] I think I used to do a better job at running to the Holy Spirit for help, at looking to Jesus when condemnation was heaping. But somehow, the constant pressure of being wife and mom has left me overwhelmed by my weakness and pride and guilt and every other yucky thing that comes out of our souls when we get squished. And I’ve forgotten — forgotten Jesus, a Savior, and the Holy Spirit, my help. People see the beauty of grace when I’m living in a constant state of needing, asking, and receiving. Trying to be more perfect is just not going to impress anyone with how wonderful Jesus is, and it exhausts me. Like grinding gears with no oil. Awful.

I’d rather have living waters bubbling.

I need Him.

happy birthday

Could it really be that we’ve already spent four whole years together, you as my babe, me as your mama?

Jameson is as fun as a boy can be — excited, determined, resourceful, hospitable, impulsive, creative, and recently, a great storyteller. Legos are his new obsession, although scissors, glue, and paper will hold his attention for as long as I let them. If you ask him any question about any Bible story, his first answer will probably be, “Umm, Jesus?”, and I just laugh. He sits and stares out the window at breakfast, and then will burst into a rousing, never-ending version of “Tomorrow.” Speaking of belting out songs, his new favorite show is Olivia, and yesterday I heard him singing along to the intro (which is really great, by the way), “Ah-yi-bee-a!” (Yup, he still has lots of unique pronunciation.) His little heart is so earnest and his little desires are so strong.

He’s just an amazing person.

He adores — no, really, I mean, adores — his daddy. He will kindly take William’s hand and help him along; he loves his brother. And while moments of stillness and cuddles are fewer and farther between, he still will give me a kiss and tell me that he “yuvs” me.

Happy birthday, Jameson. Your mama yuvs you, too.

almost 4.

Jameson’s birthday is in a few short days. The “year of 3 and 1” is almost over, and I’ll miss it. Tons.

Except that I do love the bigger boy my first baby is becoming.

My recent favorite Jameson quote:

A few days ago, the boys each got a red helium balloon at the hardware store. When they got them home, the game was (of course) to let go of the string, and then wait for a grown up to come fetch the out-of-reach balloon. Once, when William let go of the string, Jameson managed to grab the string. When I expressed how impressed I was with his ability to get the balloon, Jameson explained, “Well, it’s just because my arms are very… [paused while he examined his outstretched arms, trying to find just the right word…] they’re very reachy.”

Ah.