Date Archives → October 2010

william is 2

My baby William is a little boy. Granted, he’s a little boy who still has chubby little arms, who barely talks, and who still loves to nurse, but he’s not the baby he used to be.

Our little boy William quietly mimics everything Jameson — or Merrick, or Aubrey — does. He wears a holster carrying a red plastic cap gun almost all day long. He is not intent on becoming Leader of the Known World, but neither is he at all a push-over. Recently, he can be heard at any given moment sternly and adamantly telling Jameson, “Na! Na, na, na, na!” (No.) I wonder sometimes if getting bent out of shape is his passion in life, since he seems to go out of his way to be upset by anything and everything! He hugs me oh so tightly and loves for me to cuddle him close whenever he’s sad. He’s started giving great big kisses, too, which is the sweetest of surprises. He absolutely LOVES the worship time at church, and dances, claps, and waves his chubby arms the whole time. (He also hates the nursery. Oh well.) He adores Ryan. If there’s any indication that anyone is leaving the house, he goes into panic mode, desperately concerned that he may be left at home. Watching him run down our long hallway is one of the most amusing things I’ve ever seen — especially if he rounds a corner, at which point he steers with his arms.

He is such a blessing to our family. And as much as I can’t get over how old he is, and how much I miss that little baby, I am absolutely enthralled by these unique, fun, oh-so-adorable little boys that I have the joy of mothering.

learning

This morning, I’m thinking about:

“spend me.”

And how I say that to the Lord all the time — all the time — and yet, I’m disappointed when I’m spent and there’s none left for me. Silly, right? I want the satisfaction of giving and living for the Lord, but I also want the rest and ease of having. Classic “have your cake and eat it, too” syndrome, I guess.

So yes, I’m thinking about how I shouldn’t be surprised that when I say, “Spend me,” I end up feeling spent.

(And I can trust God to nourish and nurture my soul along the way.)

flexibility

and how it’s not flexible unless after getting pulled and stretched and totally re-shaped, you bounce back to “on track.” If the stretching leaves you totally bent out of shape, then you’re not being flexible.

And that flexibility requires grace. So much grace. It requires enthusiasm for serving the Lord every single morning. It requires that cynicism and frustration and resentment get checked at the door. It requires that you constantly be asking, How do I need to stretch today? It means not getting angry when you work so hard to accommodate today’s needs, only to have tomorrow bring something completely new.

And most of all it requires that you always maintain the kinetic memory of “home”: only Jesus.

Yes, it’s not early bedtimes or dinner at a quiet table or chores all done or 5 days in a row of uninterrupted mornings. (Those are nice, and certainly can help.)

My soul’s center isn’t A Routine Day, it’s Jesus.

waiting for the sun

Yes, a second post.

I wish I could share the panoramic view of the sun rising that is happening from my family room right now. Such amazing drama every single morning. For so long, the darkness and the light are simple separating along the horizon, and then suddenly, this sliver of coral appears behind the blackness of the trees.

And my breath catches.

And it’s more than just beautiful. Suddenly my heart is yearning, and a chorus stirs:

We will keep our eyes on You,
We will keep our eyes on You…

Because doesn’t the sunrise make you think of this life of faith that we live? Aren’t we all living every day with our eyes fixed on that sliver of coral, knowing that Someday, the Sun will be at high noon, with us living in its glorious light? Isn’t the challenge to keep our eyes glued to that light, resisting the temptation to live lives of darkness, and instead, declaring by our lives of faith that there is a Kingdom of light, and someday it’s going to consume every shred of darkness — and our lives are the evidence of things unseen?

And isn’t it amazing that God has created all of these symbols, all of these prophetic declarations, that we would be constantly reminded of Him?

So yes. This morning I’m reminded, as I watch that sliver grow into a brightening sky, that I’m living for a Day yet to come — my life is the Already, waiting for the Not Yet. I see Jesus, but only enough to know that I can’t wait to see it all.

So we can set our hearts on You,
We will set our hearts on You…

[listen here]

jameson’s bible commentary

[Yes, many of these posts are for the sake of my personal record keeping. I realize you’re not as enthralled with my kids as I am, although I understand if you are, because they’re the best!]

One of our fall routines has been to tape a prayer schedule and “verses to discuss” near our breakfast table. We read Galatians 5.22-23 for a couple of weeks, which led — every morning — to this:

me: Jameson, can you name a fruit of the Spirit?
J: (pausing for long consideration) Umm, gentleness!
me: Yes! Can you tell me what that means?
J: Be gentle at dogs and people. Dogs will bite you.

I’ve yet to read that in any commentary, but hey. I guess it’s valid, right?

But now we’ve moved on to Romans 12:10 — Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. We’ve read it lots and talked about it lots, though I’m never sure what they’re really hearing as they slurp down oatmeal and worry about which color cup they get.

Then last night, we were all heading down the hall to bed. Jameson is obsessed with being “da yeader” (leader) every time we walk down the hallway, so I was surprised when, a few steps into the trip, he suddenly moved to the side and said, “Mom, you can be da yeader.” So I stepped in front of him, thinking maybe it was too dark or something. But when we got to the bedroom, he smiled at me and said, “Mom, when I let you be da yeader, I give you preference. You like that, Mom?”

And I promptly smooshed him with a huge hug and lots of kisses. He is just the sweetest boy.