Date Archives → April 2012

three little loves.

William had a tick on his ankle yesterday. That was our first encounter with that particular grossness. Wow. Yuck. Said tick was in the woods somewhere — a place William is very happy to be these days. He follows Jameson quite happily. If they’re not in the woods, they’re on their bikes — William continuing to ride in the same circles, at the same pace, staring at the clouds and talking to himself. He is such a fun little man.

Jameson prefers to ride his bike to the top of the hill and then ZOOM down as fast as he can. His corners and swerves are getting closer and closer to the ground, and the look on his face is so full of determination and enthusiasm and love for life. He always wears his heart on his sleeve, for better or for worse. It’s easy, in the overt display of emotion, to be overwhelmed by his struggles and miss all of the moments in between when he’s a singing, working, happily just being part of our family.

Beatrice has a feisty streak that’s starting to peek through. It’s amazing how quickly she’s becoming a person. Who will she be? How will she fit into our lives? How will she change our lives? She sits at her little toy basket and sings to herself — it’s so, so sweet. Yesterday she was in the middle of the boys’ room while we worked, and the next minute, she was gone. What? And then giggling, from under the bed. You never know where she’s going to roll! Her naps are easy and regular, she loves to snuggle with me at night, and even with four teeth (four!), her happy self is rarely bothered. My only complaint is that she’s growing too fast.

They are, altogether, the best.

cultivate faithfulness

This Mary Engelbreit illustration has been the theme of my day. It could make you cry, but it could make you laugh, too, right? Come on — with crazy red hair like that, at least the rest of the world is laughing!

This morning I made a list of to-do’s. Sometimes I do this, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes it keeps me on track, sometimes it just beats me over the head. It’s a toss up. But this morning I jotted a bunch of seemingly-ambitious tasks down and hoped for the best.

Well, little William took 3.5 hours to eat his granola this morning, and since I pretty much had to stay within line-of-sight, wouldn’t you know I banged out that list of chores in no time. Granola made — check. Easter put away — check. School with Jameson — check. Clean the fridge before the Health Department comes and takes it away — check.

And all well before noon.

(Which is when I finally cleaned up the final breakfast dish — check.)

The funny thing is that even though I got way more done in one morning than I often do, it didn’t feel productive. By the time I rinsed that granola bowl and was at last free to go take a shower and get dressed, I was thinking, “What a waste of a day. (big sigh)” Isn’t that silly?

If you’re like me, you feel much better about yourself and life in general when you feel productive. But the truth is, life is just so daily. The tests aren’t how well we survive mountain tops and valleys as much as they are what we do in the middle.

Feeling abandoned? Feeling like life is just droning on? Feeling like you’re living with a bunch of sheep on the back side of a mountain? Well, God is on His way. And when He comes, let Him find you doing what you’re supposed to be doing: cultivating faithfulness.

All sorts of days come and go — they go, that’s the best of them. Don’t let the dull days pass without giving you what only dullness ever can give. It isn’t the days of high tension that try us most, and so give us most; it’s the days that seem all grey and dull. They test the quality of the gold. –Amy Carmichael, on Grey Days

joy: a life of repentance

Sin certainly hampers joy, doesn’t it?

But: there’s the Cross.

I’m reminded of this as I ponder joy and the things that stand between it and me.

The cross means that the sorrow of sin is no longer where I have to live. Repentance restores joy.

Repentance is a process, yes, but it’s also quick. It’s saying, Yes, I sinned. Yes, I’m so sorry. Yes, I want to change. Jesus, cover my sin, and give me the grace to turn and walk the other way. Again. (And again. Oops — and again!)

Suddenly, amazingly, even my own sin need not steal joy away.

Repentance is a place I need to find more often. The Enemy wants to keep me from the throne of grace, make me think it’s not necessary. Blur the lines of sin and holiness. Make it sound like a huge ordeal that I don’t have time for.

Not true — none of it!

Repentance is taking His yoke. Shedding chains. Being made clean. Turning my face toward the sun. Stepping from the shadow into His healing love.

And all in a split-second! Isn’t that amazing? Why don’t I do it more often? Why do I trudge through sin — and then guilt, and then condemnation, and now I’m a slave again — when I could be living at a throne of grace?

So I remind myself, when I feel the weight of my own failures mounting — frustration, impatience, sharp words, rolled eyes, worry, stress — to just stop, repent, and have joy restored. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes I don’t want to repent, because it feels deceptively good to hold a grudge or a bit of anger and frustration. But that’s not abiding, and there’s no joy there.

Really, “repent” is just another way of saying “return to Jesus.” And that’s the direction I want to always be headed.

You will make known to me the path of life ; In Your presence is fullness of joy ; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. –Psalm 16:11

reading to my kids

One of our very favorite story books is this, Patsy Scarry’s Big Bedtime Storybook. It’s out of print, but the good news is that you can buy it for about a dollar! My dad would read these charming little stories to us at bedtime, and now the boys ask for them all the time. The illustrations are charming, the characters endearing, and the individual stories only a few short minutes long — but each very captivating. I can’t recommend it highly enough!

I really enjoy reading to my kids. Books increase their vocabulary, their listening and comprehension ability, and their attention spans — not to mention their imaginations and their world! It’s so much fun to see the little wheels turning, or watch them burst out laughing at some silly antic.

Having them enjoy being read to has been very important to me, and I’ve done a few things to make reading a highlight of our day:

— When we sit to read a book, only Mama touches the pages. I have an eager beaver who’s always antsy about what’s next, but this rule has helped focus and saved us from torn pages.

— For the most part, we don’t ask questions during stories. Obviously I make exceptions, but questions seem to often derail storytime. Silliness is always there lurking beneath the surface!

— I read books that I think are fun, beautiful, educational, or otherwise endearing. How can I expect them to like reading if I make them sit still only to hear some drivel with awful illustrations? I can’t! Also, I can emote excitement about what we’re reading when I’m actually excited. That matters! I’ve kept a running book list of titles to either purchase or get from the library, and that is very helpful.

— Books are special. They get a book for Easter, books as gifts at birthdays and Christmas, and new books through the year are a big deal. I try to rotate a basket of seasonal or holiday-themed books so that even old titles get a fresh appeal regularly.

— We read chapter books at naptime, and I’m constantly surprised by how much even William learns from just listening quietly, with very little explanation. It’s a great way to unwind, as well as expand their little worlds in a way story books don’t. We’re well on our way through the Little House books, and Jameson just said this morning, “Oh, I thought for a minute we were eating lunch, but it’s breakfast! I wish it was lunch so we could hurry up and read The Long Winter!” And William is in love with Almanzo and his moccasins. Whatever floats your boat, kid!

None of those things are revolutionary, I know, but I thought I’d pass along the basic things that have helped thus far!

zeal: for all seasons

Something stirred this thought again today, and so I share it:

We were exhorted yesterday, reminded of things we ought not forget, and yet somehow always do. I was listening, really listening, and I want to rise to the challenge to love Jesus according to His great example and not according to the world’s sensibility.

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. —Rom 12.11 (ESV)

Zeal has nothing to do with physical age, spiritual age, season or calling. God doesn’t expect us to outgrow zeal along with Mountain Dew and Hilary Duff. He doesn’t think it’s another name for the bubble of bliss in which the newly saved walk. There’s no renouncement of it written into wedding vows, because it’s supposed to carry over from single to already-taken. And it’s not in the job description for youth pastors only, along with the ability to look way-cool.

It’s for all of us, all the time, until Jesus takes us home. It’s not a matter of style; it’s a matter of whether or not we’re spewn with great disgust from the mouth of God. The young can be filled with zeal, because it doesn’t require great wisdom and experience, but simply a revelation of God’s love. The old and arthritic can be consumed by it, because it’s not about dancing to the fast songs, but about a life that is poured out selflessly.

It’s about priorities, about fire in the bones, about being so wrapped up in the Second Coming that we sort of forget about prestigious college degrees, Pottery Barn couches, and making sure our kids don’t miss a season of soccer.

It’s about letting the embers of love be stirred so that we start to live like strangers and aliens, more like ambassadors; not so much for Now, more for Already and Not Yet.

(a repost from the archives.)

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. –colossians 3