Since getting home on the 1st, I feel like I’ve been the recipient of a million little graces every day.
Little graces like being able to enjoy an evening with candlelight, even when there are laundry baskets in the middle of the room. Like not noticing until last night that the house hasn’t been dusted since my mom did a run-through. Like being aware of how desperately the bathroom needed to be cleaned, but not losing my temper about it. Like being happy to make a pretty spot, and be able to enjoy it even when the house as a whole may not be orderly. Like ditching the clock and being happy that we’re dressed when we’re dressed, the beds are made when I get a chance, and I’m chipping away at the overall goal: living today. Like feeling initially flustered by William throwing up all over the couch this morning (in the midst of what already felt like a slowly fraying morning, if you know what I mean), deciding to just wash all of the cushion covers, and then realizing I’m really enjoying a day of granny afghans. Sort of cheerful. Sort of home.
Like just feeling like I’m able to settle into each day and be all here instead of scrambling so desperately to stay above water and way on top of things that my nerves feel wound tighter than the lowest note on a concert grand, and watch out or I might just break, and you know how much damage a flying piano string can do. Ugh. And yuck.
And I know it’s grace, because I haven’t really even been trying. My part has simply been to say, “Thanks God.”
*****
more grace in my life:
Love your blogging Danica. Your heart is a true blessing and encouragement!
Maybe it’s because we each have an infant and a toddler. Maybe it’s because my emotions are so “everywhere” that anything is relevant. Maybe you’re listening to the Holy Spirit as he guides your fingers on your keyboard, but whatever it is, I’m thankful for your blog.
Everything I’ve read here as of late, has blessed my soul and encouraged my heart.
Thanks!
Cassandra and Janice: SO GLAD you’re being encouraged!
Janice: I think a sense of camaraderie is pretty important in these transitions. I went back to the first days of Brietta’s blog one night, just to read about her infant and toddler days — and it ministered so much grace to me! So I know what you mean!
Your little boys are so adorable! Just recently, as I realized my mom is leaving next week and I’ll be left to figure out being the Mom of three all by myself, Ben and I were talking about when she left right after Adriana was born. I remember wondering if I was ever going to be able to do something (anything) without having to hold Adriana and now, all of a sudden, I can’t even remember when she stopped needing to be constantly in my arms! It does all go so quickly! A season of not-so-perfectly-as-I-like-it home is not so bad in light of how fast these days will be over, in my opinion.