a new start

The sun is rising. (Gloriously.) It’s Monday morning. The beginning of September.

All sorts of new happening here.

I don’t feel quite so new. I feel a bit more… old and tired and kind of wanting to go back to bed. But I’m watching this sunrise, this incredible thing that is still thrilling after thousands and thousands and thousands of times, and remember that each morning truly can be full of new because of the Spirit that lives in me.

Though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

You can go ahead and put it on your calendar for this morning: “Be renewed by the Spirit of Christ.”

*****

Also new today: the official start of our school year. Fiona in kindergarten, joining the ranks of enrolled students. Jameson beginning 7th. I am definitely starting to feel less like I’m teaching one class with a bit of age variety and more like a one room schoolhouse.

We are doing some tried and true things that just seem to work for us. (An hour of Circle Time right after breakfast and morning chores. Going outside even if it’s -10. Reading out loud.) I am trying some new things. (More independence for the boys. A few points of structure in a more fluid day.) We’ll see how this all actually works once it gets off of my scribbled notes and fancier charts and into real life.

However all of those details go, what will work is being together, and learning, and growing in love for one another and for the Lord.

I was going to pray for our year last night and ask for His help, and suddenly felt so silly. Of course He’s going to help! So instead of requests, I just began to articulate thanksgiving in advance. There are some checks you can cash ahead of time. I can already know that He is going to do great things in our lives as we seek Him first this year.

So we will do:

Teaching Textbooks for the boys
BJU Math for the girls

BJU Spelling for Beatrice, William, and Jameson
BJU English for Beatrice, William, and Jameson
Explode the Code for Fiona
Cursive through Pictures for the boys
Getty-Dubay Italics for the girls
Typing for boys
Rotating the above throughout the week

Nature study for all, including reading, observing, and painting our findings.

A Literature-based study on the Underground Railroad for all. (And of course this is where I get most excited; who doesn’t love reading, writing, watching good films, and letting your heart be expanded as you grow in your understanding of people, good and bad?)

Piano, programming, letter-writing, tons of outdoor time, baking, personal and family devotions… We will have no trouble filling our days.

Those are the details and the tools I have at the ready. But the best part of this homeschool journey is being continually reminded by the Holy Spirit of the big picture, the overarching task of disciple-making. That vision is what my heart needs to be tied to, not these particular tools. So, while I’m very excited about the beautiful nature books in a basket and the crisp pages of the workbooks and how after Huck Finn is done I want to do a bunch of Shakespeare in our Circle Time, I’m not tied to those tools. (Remind me of this regularly.) Any one of them needs to be set aside happily should I find it is not helping to accomplish The Grand Plan.

Because ultimately, I am shaping hearts and investing truth and growing people, armed and equipped for their purpose here on earth.

*****

And so I am in over my head already, as anyone can see, on this fresh morning on Monday in September at the beginning of a school year. I don’t know what I’m doing, really, and the things I do know tell me that I am not equal to the task in and of myself.

But my eyes jump back a few verses and land on this:

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves. (2 Cor 4)

So happy Monday, happy School Year, happy New Morning. May you find yourself renewed and bursting with the treasure of His Spirit.

august 31: a bit of a ramble

August 31st.

Somehow we have plowed our way through an entire summer and, though I think we have absolutely stuffed ourselves silly with the sunny activities and evening romps and easy living, I still have room for a few last savory summer morsels. In fact, I think I could do this for a few more months, if we could just pause for a moment for me to catch my breath.

This summer I avoided the sun more successfully than I ever have before. My redhead complexion fares best, apparently, when there’s a brand new baby to keep in the shade. I also avoided my gardens almost completely, save for one good weeding a couple weeks ago. My faithful perennials did their best without me, but I’m a bit itchy to get back to it.

But all of that did make more time for me to park myself under the picnic table umbrella and simply watch as my kids splashed in a kiddie pool, threw baseballs, chased butterflies, and asked for freeze pops because HOT. Wow, was it ever hot this year.

Jameson grew inches. His pants are a joke and I’m sort of dreading the bottom line of this fall’s clothing needs. The others are not far behind. I guess, despite the new baby, they all were fed and cared for just fine.

Summer hasn’t always ended up being my favorite time of year, thanks to no routine and trying to keep up with inside chores on top of outside play and work. It has often seemed unmanageable and more chaotic. But somehow that wasn’t how this summer played out. This team has really come together in the last year or two, and a good locker room pep talk really does the trick when it comes to laying out a game plan and executing. These kids are turning into all-stars. No trades happening here!

This summer has had its share of upheaval and craziness, as my parents prepare to sell their house, my nephew prepares for a bone marrow transplant, my husband looks ahead to the next needs in our business, and my sons begin to stretch and grow towards teenage changes. Other things, too, and suddenly a new baby, toddlers feel a piece of cake. I know how to do this.

But only doing what we know could also be called walking by sight, and that’s not what we were made for. The mustard seed inside us grows to maturity each time we step forward into what sure seems to be an abyss of nothing, trusting that when our foot comes down, it will land on the Rock that never moves.

So I flip the calendar page. I sharpen pencils and fill school drawers with new books. Plans are penciled in. We are strengthened by His faithfulness and filled with hope because we know His lovingkindness.

fiona is FIVE!

More birthday-celebrating, more time-marching. Lots of deep breaths for this mama, as already shadows of grief for days long gone occasionally pass over my soul. We looked at pictures of brand new baby Fiona, held by by a little Jameson and William with 2yo Beatrice in the background, and once again I just couldn’t believe that that will never happen or be again. Sometimes I can just sigh and shrug and smile, and sometimes it’s more painful. But whether I smile or cry, the truth of it remains: those days are gone and today is what I have to cherish, invest in, and give thanks for.

Yesterday we celebrated Fiona and her fifth birthday. She is so easy and delightful. She wakes up smiling, ready to play and dance and sing her way through the day. Once in a while, the cloud of anger will pass over her face when something doesn’t go quite her way, but she quickly returns to a smile and kindness, only occasionally requiring my help to do so. She has long been a tremendous friend to Beatrice, and now is becoming one to Cecily as she grows old enough to play and talk and be a friend in return. She swims without fear, thrives in a theatrical environment, loves friends and laughter, is eager to learn piano, and does her little chores at home with diligence and pride. She is a treasure.


This cake was dreamed about and discussed for an entire year: chocolate, layers, pink frosting, pearls, and strawberries in the middle. She knows what she wants!

_____

And along the lines of time slipping by, this little one is getting chubbier and smilier every single day. Goodness, I love her!

marking time with celebration: Beatrice is 7

Beatrice turned 7 on Friday.

She cried the night before, as she usually does. This girl feels deeply and is uniquely aware of how precious and fleeting childhood is. Of course I want to cry, too, but someone has to pull her out of her melancholy and so I remember for both of us: Every new morning, every new year in God is a blessing. Being alive and serving Him is a gift! We can be thankful for what He’s done, and let that shape our expectation for what’s to come. Ephesians says that before we were even born, He had good works planned for us. And so she finally slept, that sweet girl of mine.

And no more tears upon waking! She eagerly dressed and as soon as we could, she and I slipped away for a special breakfast outing and errands. I had asked her the night before (during our pep talk) to share with me three things she loved about being six and one thing she’s looking forward to. And so without any prompting, she rattled them off as we ate: working on the renovation with Daddy, watching Enid be born, and being part of the ski program at CFA. And she’s looking forward to 2nd grade.

A simple day of hanging out with siblings (inside, due to rain), and even a movie in the middle of the day! Big treat. Finally a couple of friends arrived and they played something silly and fun with teepee and play food. Tacos for dinner with Nana and Papa, too. Brownie with ice cream and whipped cream and sprinkles made her day.

We shared some of what we love about our Beatrice as we sat around the music room. She’s so easy to appreciate — the list is long, from dimples and freckles to quick forgiveness and tenderheartedness.

And then just like that the day was over and she was officially launched into her next year of living.

*****

Stopping to celebrate, even simply, helps us to communicate and cultivate value. We are not happenstances. There is a beautiful design in us, and worth we can’t quite imagine. (The cross tells us so.)

And as my children grow older, I become more thankful for these simple days when I can make a special effort to prepare their requested dinner, find a gift I think they’ll love, and look in their eyes and echo the words of their Creator: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are loved with an everlasting love.

the busy and lazy and timeless days of summer

Here we are, August. August! I cut a bunch of echinacea and rudbeckia and couldn’t even believe it. What happened to the peonies? Scratch that. Where are the daffodils? How are we here already?!

But oh, we have filled these days. Some filled with the nothing that summertime begs for, some filled with much anticipated activities. Soccer camp, swim lessons, and musical theater camp — far more here and there than our usual summer schedule, but it has been so much fun and just right for this year.

What hasn’t happened this year is much [any] gardening. The grass is growing quite well between hardy perennials, despite the fact that hot and dry weather has left the lawn looking brown and crunchy. I’ve never experimented with total neglect, and I can’t recommend it, but a new baby in May has bumped weeding and pruning waaaay down the totem pole. The good news is I haven’t lost anything, and hopefully that will still be true next spring. There’s a time for everything, I guess.

Last week I decided on and ordered our books for the coming school year, so that means this week will see us purging and tidying the school cupboard once again. I’m both excited about all we’ll learn and dreadfully sad that our summer days will end in a few weeks. There’s a time for everything.

*****

Old familiar tasks done in a new beautiful kitchen.

Evening walks in nightgowns and pjs.

Mama’s rug in my room.

Learning croquet.

Wagon full of beauty.

Three soccer players!

Enid’s regular activity. (Some days.)

Up bright and early every swim-lesson morning! So proud of just that, never mind the swim progress.

Cousins made it even more fun.

Sister love.

An early NOT swim morning by myself.

Donning ballet slippers.

Constant companion, growing and changing and more loved every day.

mother by design

Summer is the time for bumping into friends you haven’t seen and asking, “How have you been?”

In case you’re wondering, this is how I’ve been:

She is my constant companion these days, as I read to the kids or stir a pot or oversee play or email and call — she is most often in my arms. There is something about these fragile baby days that astounds me. She needs me. Life and death, no exaggeration, needs me.

As I serve her and her most basic needs, putting them above my own desires or needs, I am serving Christ. ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

As I serve her, showing her gentleness and love in my manner, I am showing Christ to her. I am shaping her first ideas of what love is, and her own worth.

And as I serve her, I am struck by how I am perfectly designed to meet her needs. Uniquely qualified. This is a physical truth I can see with my eyes that speaks to shades of doubt that lurk in my heart. I am a nurturer, a life-giver. I am called to strength and courage, kindness and gentleness. On my own, I am not all or any of the things I need to be. But my belief in Intelligent Design grounds me, and my faith in the Holy Spirit equips me.

As she looks to me, I am reminded again and again to look to Him. He is all — everything — we need.