Posts Tagged → Beatrice

bits

Since the beginning of May, I have only eaten dessert, or sweets of any kind, a few times on a few special occasions. This is amazing for me. I feel like I’ve climbed Mt. Self Control for the first time ever.

…and then tonight I had to make dessert for our church picnic and caved. I ate a cookie.

Those cookies get me every time!

*****

One special occasion was last week when we went strawberry picking. All three kids, in the middle of the afternoon, trying to find a place I’d never heard of. Beatrice decided to try out a new facet of her personality and cried her head off, William cut his finger on a blade of grass and joined her, and Jameson sat happily in the middle of strawberry plants declaring how much fun he was having. That kid is a keeper.

We brought home 4 quarts — not much, but enough, given the howling that was our soundtrack.

And Jameson helped me make a strawberry cake to celebrate strawberry season. (Since they’ve been deprived of baked goods since my attempts at cutting out dessert, they were especially excited about this cake!)

*****

That night, I also made Ina Garten’s grilled chicken. It was, as all of her recipes are, fabulous. Full of flavor, and really easy. Mashed potatoes (with plenty of whole milk and butter, of course!), and salad from right outside our door finished off the meal. It really was a wonderful celebration of summer’s beginning.

*****

Another big hit? Jamie Oliver’s Chicken Tikka Masala — or at least a version of it. I used chicken thighs and cooked it in the oven at 250* for a couple of hours, but otherwise followed the recipe fairly closely. The cilantro lime rice is a must.

Did I mention that cilantro is taking over my little herb plot? It is. And we love it.

*****

I’m so proud of William. He’s not quite as adventurous as his brother, and that’s putting it mildly. Last year, he spent the entire summer watching people swim from the comfort of dry ground. This week, he went from barely being comfortable dipping his feet in, to being happy climbing in and out all by himself, and letting me help him “swim”. Most of all, it’s fun to see his eyes shine and realize how proud he feels to have accomplished so much.

*****

I pulled out a Copland piece today for the first time in…years. Jameson heard me, and quickly assembled an eclectic assortment of household items that he transformed into percussion. I couldn’t believe how quickly he understood the (modern, sounds-like-chaos to most people) music and figured out how to appropriately add strums and cymbals and such.

*****

Meanwhile, Beatrice is busy getting callouses on her feet — on the tops of her feet, that is. Crawling babies get so dirty, too! She has a self-appointed roll as household floor cleaner, and very seriously picks up every speck and fuzz and eats it. She’s also been introduced to some real food (so, really, shouldn’t she realize that dryer lint is just not worth eating anymore?) and has loved it all. Chicken, salmon, snap peas, lettuce from the garden that she picks when I’m not looking… She’s very eager to be included in our meals. And I just think, Really? Really, you weren’t just born?

*****

Long days of sunshine, long days of work for Ryan, long days of pools and walks and watering thirsty plants. Living the best we know how, loving that He upholds us.

He is good.

busy? oh yes. we are.

June’s calendar is so much emptier than May’s. Somehow, though, the days just fill up. Maybe not quite so much scrambling. Maybe a bit more of the sprinkler-running, bike-riding, kid-training, home-being variety. Not to mention the all-consuming growing-up busyness. These kids grow like weeds, hit new strides, try new words, learn new tricks EVERY DAY. I love ’em bunches.

Breakfast with my boys while Daddy was busy working.

A few minutes here and there playing my favorite hymns.

Keeping Daddy company in Ottawa.

Dinner and books with my William.

Gardening, with a sweet baby for company. She loves the dirt, just like her Mama.

Playing catch with Papa, a summertime highlight.

Doing errands with Daddy, and getting a special lunch.

Sitting in the sunshine with my cool kid.

He finished Kindergarten, I got my homeschooling-Mama feet wet.

Sunny days and sprinklers: match made in heaven.

Standing, every chance she gets.

She melts our hearts and makes us laugh. Peek a boo!

bike riding

On Sunday morning, before we left for church, we packed pb&j, water bottles, crocs, play shorts, and bikes in the van. When the service was done, we headed to the public school parking lot for the long awaited Bike Riding Event.

It was perfect. The joy and elation as the boys took off on their bikes into the vast parking lot was priceless. Not even a playground with every bell and whistle could distract them from their mission. They rode and rode and rode. And smiled the whole time. (So did Ryan and I.)

Little summertime treasures.

it’s hard work

Sometimes I’m so busy raising kids that I feel like I’m missing their lives. (Does that even make sense? Yes? No?)

That sensation hit strong a couple of weeks ago. I was feeling really bad for myself. Feeling like these kids are growing up so quickly, and I’m missing the whole thing because they’re such handfuls.

And then I sort of laughed at myself. Laughed because I get so, so, so sidetracked sometimes!

The Holy Spirit reminded me: The point of all this is not sentimentality. It is not the “How Many Warm Fuzzies Can You Have” game. A string of exhausting days with few-and-far-between picture perfect moments does not necessarily equal failure. (My melancholy mind always jumps right to failure. Sorry if that seems dramatic. Ha!)

The point (He reminded me) is
— young boys to men
— fools to wisdom seekers
— darkness to light

There is very little that is cute, warm, or fuzzy about those things. They are serious, war-waging, blood-sweat-and-tears things.

So should I feel like I’m a failure when I’m exhausted? When I feel utterly spent? No. I’m in the trenches and should be giving 100%.

When we were first married, Ryan would sometimes remark on how tired he was. Our dear landlord would smile and say, in his Down East way, “Well, it’s Friday evening. If you’re not tired on Friday evening, you’re doing something wrong.”

And sometimes I have to remind myself of the same thing: Stop being an idealist. Real life is work, and being tired isn’t a sign of failure. (Yes, it’s a sign of weakness, but I’m learning to be content even in that.) Do I need to cave to the flesh when I’m tired? No. There’s grace for that. And joy, too.

But this is not vacation; this is work. This is not my destination; I am moving forward. There are gifts along the way that fill my mama-heart with incredible joy — but that is not the end goal. To see Jesus formed in them. That will be the greatest joy.

blessings.

This was a fun week.

It was a week of sunshine. Lots and lots and lots of sunshine. Sunburns, freckles, sweaty heads. Scraped knees, black-bottomed feet, green-stained clothes. And just enough rain to sit and rest for a wonderful afternoon.

It was a week of gardening. Several up-with-the-sun mornings for me. Throw on work clothes, take my coffee outside, listen to birds while I turn sod: this is as summery as it gets to me. I love it. And now, five new rose bushes, a hydrangea, 1 lilac bush moved, 20 day lilies moved, ranunculus bulbs planted, lettuce thinned, yarrow and speedwell bought and planted, six hollyhocks of a new variety, and a smattering of hopeful seeds. Wow. That was a lot of work!

It was a week of learning. A friend and I put together a “discussion on natural childbirth.” Every time I dive into that topic, I’m freshly awed by the miracle of life. The whole thing is just amazing design — and a humbling privilege.

It was a week of play. Some weeks, the boys regularly wake on the wrong side of the bed. Other weeks, they wake up ready to pretend and laugh and play and share and just be the best kids ever. They came up with so many new games and activities this week, and it was refreshing for my soul to just watch and enjoy.

It was a week of growing. Beatrice has unwittingly discovered real, bonafide crawling. She still prefers a military crawl, but it won’t be long. She pulls herself almost to standing with the help of our ottoman, and happily navigates her way through the entire house. It’s so very much fun, but all so very much too soon.

Yes, exhaustion, frustration, uncertainty, overwhelmed moments. But really? Really?

I just am feeling very blessed.