bedroom tents!

Aaaaand just under the wire, she posts.

There isn’t time or clarity of mind enough to delve into anything too deep or profound tonight. How about photos of what went on while I was at a mother’s meeting? Only the most looked forward to event of the month! Ryan promised the boys that he would rig a tent in their bedroom, and then they would all watch a movie in their sleeping bags. Ack!! So exciting!!

tent master:

excited boy in background:

more excited boy in the background:

movies in a tent!

The sharing I heard tonight was also very good, and worth a great deal of rumination. Tomorrow, perhaps, I’ll do just that. Stay tuned.

my favorite people

Because I keep wanting to write, but never have the words quite collected, I’ll post pictures of what my words would revolve around (if they were to be written).

An oldest son:

A happy middle boy:

And a beautiful baby who is too good to be true:

Also, the daddy whose love makes them all smile and grow:

Yup. That almost sums up my thoughts.

2011 thoughts

[A post written for my benefit. Bear with me!]

Here we are, almost to the second week of January. Wow. Really?

New Year’s Eve caught me unprepared (as it seems to have done for several years counting.) Where did the year go? Sand slipping between my fingers — it can seem like a vapor. And yes, in some ways, it is. But how good it is to know that God saw those days, and the service that filled them, as seeds sown.

And a pause, laying in bed on New Year’s Eve, gave me a chance to recall the year.

2011 began with a bang. Literally. Josh and Carson showed up with sledge hammers and trash bags that first week and started the huge project of renovating the front rooms of our house. Some weeks of big progress, many weeks of chipping away, and by August, our floors were oiled, our walls painted, and it was all done enough to settle in and be ready for a new baby. (Not that she needs a new music room, but having the grand piano out of our bedroom seemed like it would be a nice idea!)

Olivia moved in that month, too. She lived in our yellow guest room for 9 months, and was sunshine to our family. She befriended William when he was still hesitant about anyone but Mama, and watched him grow from baby to boy. She joked with Ryan, played Legos with Jameson, read books to William, and quietly slipped alongside me to fold laundry or set the table or just smile. We loved, loved, loved her.

January also found me sitting in a chair, sleeping on the couch, and generally hiding from the world as much as possible. Morning (or day) sickness took all the unction out of me, but somewhere in February, I started to feel like myself again. And then in March, somewhere around week 18, I found Regina Willette and a homebirth was planned, again. Once again, my pregnancy passed with no complications, and anticipation and excitement grew along with my belly — which was, once again, huge!

The spring was beautiful, if a bit slow at times, and we passed the time with lots of garden rehab and walks and preparations for CFA’s Cinderella and The Glass Slipper. William enjoyed his first year of being a “big boy”, and he and Jameson played outside for hours, finding favorite spots in the yard for their pirating and cowboying and other exciting things. And bikes, of course. For hours.

We had a visit from our friends Emre and Sevi in January, and then Ryan and I flew to California in March. Besides enjoying the chance to see our very-missed friends, it was also our first overnight travel without kids since pre-Jameson!

Trips to Maine and Long Island and Montreal, buying our neighboring field and a new roof and chipping away at the renovation, lots of trips to Beans’ pool and Nana’s yard and quiet days at home — all of this, and the summer was over. How quickly it goes!

Beatrice was born, William broke his arm, Olivia moved back home, Jameson had a bonfire birthday, Louissa and Josiah prepared for and then celebrated their wedding, William turned 3, and we eased into a bit of “real” Kindergarten work.

CFC began meeting in two locations, we began hosting a large and exciting Young Couples meeting, and Jameson started attending Friday School (and was quite pleased to be in the Christmas concert!)

Washing machines spun, the refrigerator was filled and emptied, filled and emptied, and dishes were washed at least 3 times a day. Bedsheets were changed, diapers outgrown, manners taught, attitudes addressed. Lego towers were admired, Playmobil carriages assembled, and dress-up creativity applauded. Sometimes I got out of my pajamas before 7am, and other days, I just put clean ones on before bed. Some days lists were crossed off with vim and vigor. Some days we barely got through bare essentials. Every day we did our best to love one another and honor Jesus. And two, then three, little people grew and grew and grew.

So, yes, sand between my fingers. Vapors. But somehow, in His economy, beads strung on the thread of time, all adding up to more than we can measure. I look at this past year with this confidence, and it shapes my perspective on the year to come:

Do not be deceived; God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

i’m here.

I’ve never, ever gone this long without updating my blog. Never. But for whatever reason — busy, foggy head, other thing to do, can’t put it in words, first I’ll download all my photos — I haven’t written here in so long that I actually forgot the url to get here. Just for a second, but still. I forgot it.

And yes, we’ve been busy. I know we have, although if you ask me what we did this week, you’ll get a strange blank stare in response. I have no idea. But here we are, at the end of another week. And the three littlest of us are bigger. Hopefully I’m a bit smaller. I’m only three months postpartum, you know.

We’ve started kindergarten. Is it okay that I sort of smirk when I say that? Because how can this be school? Sitting at the table all together for an hour or so, littlest boy putting together puzzles all by himself (William’s achievement: learning diligence), coloring, putting an entire sheet of stickers on a small square of paper; bigger boy thumping his pencil in rhythm on his new book, carefully writing what looks like the distant relatives of what you might recognize as letters, quickly and without any teaching at all whipping through math pages. All of us with heads together learning about the Titanic and volcanoes and picture books just for fun. Pointing at the globe to find the Yangtze river, France, Ohio, and Maine. Coloring, painting, collecting leaves. Taking brisk[ish] walks and talking about geese. Making a list of things to cook just for fun this winter. And the much-anticipated Little House reading at naptime. (They were so sad to leave Laura when we started Farmer Boy, but I think they’re starting to come around.) And (my favorite part!) going to the library to collect the lovely pile of books that are waiting for us. Goodness, I love the internet!

Of course, that’s just part of our day. There are daily chores, the morning routine that takes forever. (How does it do that? Dressed, showered, laundry, quiet time, breakfast — and it feels like the day is gone!) There are meals, errands, visits, baths. Some days it feels like I’m drowning in an ocean of things-to-be-done. (And so I sit down and cry.) Some days I tell the ocean that I just don’t care, and those days go much better. (Although the ocean is still there, and I’m still not quite sure what to do about it. Besides live for 20 more years. That always seems to help with perspective and things-to-be-done.)

William has turned three (and I never even wrote about him — I just realized that!). It is the best age ever. I love every funny little thing he says, the quirky observations about life, the faulty logic that seems so very logical to them. Just love it. Fridays are our morning together, and we read lots of books. Both boys like to hear stories, but William will quite happily sit through a huge stack of books and be perfectly happy. Today we also went out to The Big Rock. Because it’s a beautiful day. At least, that’s what William said when he was trying to convince me to go out and play with him. Who can resist? That is not faulty logic.

Beatrice is big. She is, I know it, try as hard as I may to ignore it. She smiles and coos and absolutely is a love.

And me? I am loving being here in the North Country. There are so many wonderful people, so many new people, just so many people. I love getting to know them, having them in my home, learning their children’s names and their occupations and where they grew up and what puts the twinkle in their eye. People are important. People are fragile. People are worth it.

That’s what I’m thinking about right now, anyway.

And maybe I’ll write again soon. Because there’s lots more to think about.