I can’t imagine there will be many more opportunities to write in this before the big day. The countdown is getting close. (Did I ever think it would really be only 9 days away?!)

Half a dozen times each day, I find myself overwhelmed with one emotion or another, whether it be leaving home, perfecting plans, or wondering how long before Ryan and I really understand one another’s communication. Any one of these things would usually be carefully processed and prayed about and not impede the progress of my day. But all at once? All at once is a different story. Inevitably, I end up living the day with the gnawing fear that I’m not spending enough time with Merrick, with Mom, with Ryan, with my projects, with the Lord… Agghhh!

And so last night when Ryan shared his heart once again—how he wants to serve the Lord each day, doing whatever is before us, and finding peace in the calling as servant—I took a deep breath. Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m a Christian. Worry is not just pointless, but sin. Each moment is ordained by the Lord, and each one is better than the one before (Proverbs 4). I don’t have to carefully craft my life in order to love enough, give enough, live enough; He crafts it perfectly. If I have memories and wonderful relationships and a bright future, it’s because I’ve trusted Him with each day. And if I started that way, with such wonderful results, why would I continue on my own strength and wisdom?

There are so many things coming to a close, and so many things about to begin–but what a beautiful moment to live, like the carefully orchestrated modulation at the climax of a symphony. My eyes are on Him, the baton is in His hand, and the sound will be nothing less than heavenly.

Yesterday is gone–
went and left it far behind me.
Tomorrow’s a gossamer dream.
I know I said that You could have my whole life.
Well, I guess there’s not much that I’m holding–
I guess there is only this moment,
So You can have today. (–me!)

It’s been a busy week. Let’s see:

Within 7 days, I was in Albany for two days and Rochester for three… and the two in between didn’t count for much other than preparation to leave again!

America got an Idol—the wrong one, but at least a decent one. It could have been worse (it could have been Fantasia again, right?)

After ridiculous deliberation (decision making is not my favorite), I finally bought dishes for our new home. White, because I’m not settled enough to pick a few colors. (White is amazing wisdom for a girl who likes brown and bamboo, pink and gingham, orange and watering cans, and holiday decor!)

The said apartment made progress: carpet measurements, doors hung, and a shower installed!

I played a concert during Memorial Day weekend—one of the first nice evenings of the year (so you can take a guess at how the turnout was!)

My own dear boy moved out of his last bachelor pad, and I got to clean. Let’s just say, he needs a wife!

The homestead is being turned upside down—time for summer projects, and a wedding is a great goal to work towards. Paint, sand, goop, and sort…

And most exciting to me is that in the last seven days, summer has arrived in Northern New York! The gardens are finally full and ready to burst into bloom, the grass is green and growing like crazy, birds are singing, bugs are buzzing, and the sun is pouring its warmth. Ahh, there’s nothing better than digging in the garden with the sun warming your back. Of course, I could do without the wasp that is presently flying around my head and now trying to land on my leg. Gross.

If we trace back a few more days than seven, I can tell you about my wedding shower. How much fun it was! Of course, my little sisters and cousins manned the camera that day, so instead of shots of the huge number of wonderful women who came to support me and share their love, we ended up with baby Bronwyn sitting, baby Bronwyn drooling, baby Bronwyn grinning, baby Bronwyn crying, baby Bronwyn crawling… You get the drift! But it was a lovely party, and I was so very, very blessed. The setting was lovely, the food was incredible (thanks to my amazing mom, sister Bri, and lots of others who helped with prep!), the gifts were wonderful, and the fellowship was special and will be cherished. There were hugs and words of advice and prayers that brought me to tears, so real was the love and affirmation expressed by all. I’m excited to iron the fun napkins and cook my first meal, but I’m especially excited to get married, having within me the investment and example of so many.

But perhaps most monumental is that today it became June—the June when my life will change forever. This is the first time that I’ll have lived anywhere but with my family—and our family in the same house for almost two decades! It’ll be the first time I have a husband, too, and people tell me that’s an even bigger change than moving! I’m growing in excitement as I hear the Lord speak to me, as my love for Ryan increases, as my desire to sow into his success gains expression, and simply at the amazing change that’s around the corner. I’m not one who will volunteer for change—I like tradition and constancy more and more—but this is a change worth running whole-heartedly into. Bittersweet, yes, but more than that, the Holy Spirit gives the ability to mourn as those who do not mourn, for our true Love and Desire lies ahead, far from 1942 State Highway, Madrid. And though change may come at a cost, and the future demands that we trade in the past, undiminishing joy and the fulfillment of our hearts’ longings is waiting for those who run with an unwavering love for the Prize.

On June 25th, in a few short weeks, Ryan and I begin running this Christian race together. And how blessed I am to be joining a man who will not only take care of the “togetherness”, but will see to it that we run in such a way as to attain the prize, Christ alone.