Date Archives → July 2007

while he sleeps, i’ll sit…

:: So, is it time to go home yet?

That’s how I’m feeling yesterday and today. Pretty bad, considering it’s only been a few weeks. I know that part of this wanting home is just a need for routine, to really own life here in this little spot. I’m still fumbling with my coffee making procedure, still reaching for the wrong drawer when I need a spoon, still wondering where my toothbrush is — in the cupboard or out? — and still have chaos in my cleaning closet. In time, though, I’ll settle in. Even though it still feels like a strange house, within no time I’ll be able to walk to the kitchen in the pitch black middle of the night, get a glass from the right cupboard, and walk back to bed without nailing my shin on the corner of the boxspring. It will feel like home, if I determine to make it so.

:: Today I need to go grocery shopping for real. I’m so glad that my spice collection traveled well, since that’s the pricey part of a pantry. But I need everything else — flour and oats, eggs and milk, tomatoes and peas, and everything.

:: Finding a church to call home is not easy. Not that I had any illusions about it being anything but hard, but still.

However, as I sit here in my backyard, smelling flowers, soaking up sunshine, loving this Secret Garden that is mine for at least a year, I am reminded of how perfect the Lord’s provision is. Surely, if He could give me a “bit of earth” and a quiet neighborhood — in short, if He could provide me with shelter that is more than just adequate, but above my hopes and dreams, then can’t I trust Him to do the same with a church family? I think so. I’m believing so. And I’m also believing that we’ll know when we find it, because that’s the hard part. You know. All that business about no church is perfect, and if you find one, the minute you join stop being perfect because you’re there? Well, I’m trusting that the Lord will help us to know which not-perfect actually is perfect for us, in this season.

:: Last night at 6:15, I loaded a picnic basket (thank you again, Sheri!) and Jameson (wearing his adorable outfit received from Mrs. Kinnen at his shower) into our red wagon (which we have loved Auntie Bec and Sarah!), and made our way to the park downtown. Ryan met us there, and we spread out a blanket, along with every other young family, and settled in for an hour of music, food, and fun. It’s a little summer tradition, I guess, to eat at the park on Wednesdays while a local group serenades us. At one point, as we were sitting and enjoying Jameson, Ryan looked around and said, “Wow. This is it; the American Dream.”

Yes, there we were, in one of the wealthiest communities in the country, surrounded by young families whose kids are dressed well, who were all eating well, enjoying the luxury of safety and opulence. They’ve arrived, attained what so many strive for.

And Ryan and I had the same thought: Huh. That’s really, really sad.

I’m so, so thankful to know the Lord.

I’m so, so thankful to know that there is eternity.

I’m so, so glad that this isn’t all there is.

And I so, so hope that we’re able to communicate that hope that’s within us while we’re here, living in the middle of American Dream, USA.

a peek.

There are those of you (wink wink, Mrs. French!) who would like to know what my life is looking like these days. Well, there will be a house tour as soon as I can get some decent pictures. For now, there’s this:

:: The weather, truly, is perfect here. This little spot in the Bay Area happens to stay very moderate in temperature. Every morning, if you’re out and about early enough, you can plan on wearing a sweatshirt. The same goes for evening. By afternoon, though, the sun is hot (but the air is dry — not like NNY!) Yesterday and today are the first overcast days I’ve ever experienced here in California, and they’re actually a very welcome respite from the incredibly bright sunshine we usually have. Yes, I can understand why people would move here for the weather. (I do think, though, that I’ll desperately miss red maple leaves and sparkling fresh snow!)

:: Although this is an incredibly populated area, and we are only 20-30 minutes from two major cities, the little town we are blessed to live is exactly that — a little town. Last Saturday, as Ryan and I pulled Jameson downtown in his little red wagon, I told Ryan how blessed I feel to be able to have a “small” life, even though we live smack-dab in the middle of hustle-bustle Silicon Valley. I’m very thankful.

:: Jameson and I usually take a stroll in the morning. Up until yesterday, we would walk with Ryan to Starbucks, and then he would continue on to his office, and we would head back home. Now that we have our grinder and coffee maker unpacked, we’ve eliminated that walk (and cost!) from our morning routine. We still walk here or here each day to slowly stock the cupboards. I feel like a European — walking down the block to the market each day! I’m hoping that this weekend we’ll be able to make it to a Farmer’s Market, though, because I hear that’s the only way to purchase produce. That should be fun!

:: We’re still on the hunt for a church. We’ve been visiting one for the last few weeks, and have certainly been very warmly welcomed. Two of the women I’ve befriended came over yesterday with their kiddos. The plan was to meet here and then head down the road to the park, but we quickly revised that plan when the kids saw our backyard. I’m not sure they’d ever seen anything like it — with fruit trees and brick paths and secret tunnels through vines… They were exploring and playing and letting their imaginations run wild for hours! Suddenly it felt like a real house and a real backyard. Funny how kids can do that. Jameson had a blast just watching everyone run and shout and play. And I certainly enjoyed sitting on a blanket with Joyce and Christie, chatting away about babies and homeschooling and grocery shopping. Neither of them are lacking in warmth and genuine friendliness, and I’m so glad to have met them. Hopefully they’ll be back soon for more great play time!

:: Setting up house is a big task. Ryan helped lots over the weekend, and that certainly helped me to feel motivated and able. Yesterday I worked on the kitchen, and as a result, we were able to actually sit at a table for dinner! A small accomplishment, but I’ll take baby steps! Today I need to find the inspiration for one more room. (Inspiration is overrated, though; I probably shouldn’t waste too much time waiting for it!)

:: Last week, before our goods arrived, Jameson and I spent a day working outdoors. I found a rake and a shovel in our garage, and thoroughly acquainted myself with the yard. After scrubbing moss off of brick and raking out dead leaves and other fun chores, Jameson and I headed off to a local nursery. I love nurseries, but they certainly aren’t the same when I’m not with my mom. I felt like her — off on my own, trying desperately to pick out the right flowers and remember how my mom would have done things. I managed to make some purchases, and planted my new flowers when I got home. I was proud to show Ryan when he arrived home that evening, although he did sort of call my bluff when he asked, “So, do you like know how to garden?” Umm, well, sort of. I mean, I helped my mom a lot. Okay, well, no, not really. Not without my mom here telling me what to clip and how far down to cut… But I’ll fake it the best I can!

:: I’d write more, but I’m not sure I should spend ALL of Jameson’s naptime writing! To work I go…

…check out my photos for more “life in Cali.”

real quick:

The truck, laden with all of our earthly goods, arrived on Friday morning. At about the same time, we suddenly were not able to connect to the internet. I think perhaps the Lord was saying, “Get to work — and no blog reading, either!”

So, my apologies to those who are waiting for an email, and to anyone who wonders why on earth I haven’t written more.

I have taken pictures, although not enough. When time allows, those will be added to the flickr account, so you can all can see my new WIP abode. (work in progress.) It’s gotten worse before it gets better, that’s for sure. Having a hundred boxes around the house is bad; having the contents of a hundred boxes around the house is even worse. Slowly but surely, I am finding a place for everything.

And as I unpack, I realize this: I have a very, very well-appointed kitchen for such a young wife. I really should never need another dish or gadget ever again. “Need”, of course, is the operative word; I will continue, I’m sure, to want every pretty, funky, or unusual plate I see.

Jameson has broken into new territory. Time will not allow for all of the amazing details, so I will save the blow-by-blow for his 10-month birthday and simply say this: he has been known to pull himself to standing at the piano bench and then carefully — ever-so-carefully — turn to the keyboard, and then play his heart out (with a pleased-as-punch grin on his sweet face!)

He doesn’t, however, crawl.

Tonight we will eat dinner cooked in our own kitchen. Tomorrow three young moms and their children will come to my little town where we will all visit in the park down the block. And in one week, we’ll have our first overnight guests. These are the things that help me to feel like this is real life. For real.

Mr. Ambitious has just pulled himself up next to me, so before this sorry excuse for a post is lost forever (because little fingers do that, you know), I will end. Should the internet connection stay available, there will be more later. Soon. I promise!

new sounds

Our windows are open, an invitation to the cool night air to come and purge our home of its daytime warmth.

Outside, I hear…

… cars driving by.
… fireworks, far away.
… a siren in the distance.
… a neighbor’s uproarious laughter.

Not quite the same as living on North Street.

But kinda fun.

Happy 4th!

investing

I love the internet. I love the world-at-your-fingertips sensation. I love the opportunity to learn, learn, learn.

But I am sometimes inundated, and find that with all of my reading and discovering, I must be even more vigilant to keep first Thing first. You know? There are so many good things, and the more I learn about them, the more I want to do them. But at some point, I have to realize that time here is limited, and while I want to be a good steward in every way I can, I can’t spend my whole life in pursuit of organic whole grains. There is Jesus, after all, and no amount of fair trade and non-toxic household cleaners will save souls.

(You can obviously see what kinds of good things tend to draw my attention.)

So this is a constant question I must be asking myself: How much of my limited resources (time, energy, money) is this worth? Will the benefit to my family, or the environment, or whatever, be worth the investment?

Like:

Is it worth the $$$ to, say, buy a whole bunch of reusable shopping bags?

Or:

Is it worth the $$$, and mostly the time, to switch? I love the thought of no more weird chemicals on baby’s skin, but is it worth it? (Just look at those! Who wouldn’t want to switch!)

There are some things that I just know are worth investing into, though. Like:

And a bit of random joy from California: Guess what I’ve been picking and eating from my new backyard?

The sweetest, juiciest plums EVER! I wish I could mail one to my dad. What awesome summer love they are!

**p.s. The upfront investment of cloth diapers can be a bit staggering, but of course, in the long run, it’s quite the savings.