- No book or video will ever prepare you for the horrific loss of blood–all the more if she’s an anemic red-head! (…worse than a train wreck my friend…worse than a train wreck.)
- An initial diaper change will precede no less than three more.
- Newborns have no necks.
- The art of breastfeeding requires a minimum of a bachelor’s degree. (Rooting, Latching, Weaning–oh my!)
- Inspect your clothing before leaving the house; you’re sure to have spit-up on you someplace.
- Public bragging on your child will only initiate an excessive and earsplitting bowel movement from within them. Resist the temptation; it’s not worth it.
- Within days after the birth, you’ve learned the location of every dish and specialty utensil. “Mr. Mom†never sounded so right.
- Purell–it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.
- Don’t worry: after the initial shock of reentry into the grocery store, you’ll quickly recall the location of all your favorites from bachelorhood. (Mmmm, pork rinds!)
- When she gets that look in her eyes–a little emotional–trust me, do not try and understand, just smile gently; it will pass. (Oh may it pass!)
yay- comments!
I liked #3 and #8.
Oh. And it’s only just begun. By next month we’ll all be waiting for another list.
My first thought when I read this was to wonder what in the world being a redhead has to do with blood?! You crack me up, Ry!
I LOVE # 10! I’m sure that my Ryan could relate! (and yes, the EXTREMENESS of it will pass!)
Wonderful web site. Lots of useful info here.
I’m sending it to a few pals ans also sharing in delicious.
And certainly, thank you to your sweat!