20 weeks

This little baby, growing in my belly, is halfway through his in-utero journey. That is hard to believe. Baby #4 has two big brothers who are ecstatic about his arrival (– “his” being used a general pronoun for human being of yet unknown gender. We like to be surprised at the very end!) He also has a sister who is growing quite infatuated with babies, her baby doll, and being bossy — all the makings of a fabulous big sister, no?

As for me, I’m just amazed and mystified at the fact that a baby, a human being, is created inside of me. And quickly, too! I’m also taken by surprise by the sheer amount of energy required of me for something that is almost invisible to my eye. (Can my shockingly round abdomen fit into the category of “almost invisible”?) I have struggled with deep frustration over my constant exhaustion, wanting to dismiss it as sheer silliness, something that I can surely ignore and just press through. But no. This baby already needs me, and I forget. I forget that I am legitimately mothering four people right now. And I am reminded that this can be a gentle easing into a life more dependent on the Holy Spirit than ever before, if I stop striving and just learn.


A little tribute to my unborn baby seems an appropriate time to make sure local readership is aware of this unfortunate fact. It’s easy to ignore things like this, or make excuses for why action isn’t really required. But the truth is, your actions matter. They matter to bottom lines, to unborn babies, and most of all, to God. This is something Ryan and I are freshly challenged by. More on that in another post.

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