they are weak, He is strong

I’m not that strong.

All it takes is pollen + pregnancy to take me down. Spiraling down, discouraged and exhausted.

“What do you not think you’re good at?” my patient husband (who’s been down this road a few times before) asks.

“Life. I’m not good at life.”

Frail. Dust. Completely broadsided by pollen, for crying out loud.

And He calls me valuable. Ransomed, not with gold or silver, but with His own blood.

You kinda got a bad deal, I mutter to the Only Wise King. I got just who I wanted, from before the foundations of the world, thank you very much.

*****

My happiest three year old in the world girl came home from a special outing with her Nana and Papa a few evenings ago, flying high, smiling, dancing, telling me all about it. But when I tucked her little body under the covers, she quietly said, “I’m just glad that I’m back here now.”

“You mean, back at our house? Or just with me?”

“With you. I like being with you.” And she rolled over and closed her sweet eyes.

And I choked a bit.

I’m home to her. She thinks that I’m, like, a real mama. I feel like a trying-really-hard-and-never-quite-sure mama. But she doesn’t think that. Somehow, she finds the nurturing love that her little soul desires in me.

Wow.

*****

I started the last load of laundry, dimmed the lights, and almost tripped over these stools.

Two stools, where at least three little people had clamored and climbed the whole time I made dinner.

They just want to be near me.

All the time.

Me, the mom who’s undone because the wrong flowers happen to be spreading pollen. They find home in me.

That’s amazing. That’s grace. That’s me being a broken, earthen vessel, and God being more than enough.

4 Comments they are weak, He is strong

  1. Kim Damon

    Lovely. Somehow our children can see us, the way God sees us (better than we see us). The worst thing is we think we are right, after all, who could know us better than us? But the truth is they see our heart (not our failings). I think it’s part of why we need to become like little children to enter the kingdom of God. I want to see like that. Thank you for sharing this snapshot into your beautiful world (beautiful friend). :)

    Reply
  2. linda

    Thank you for writing. Such a source of encouragement HE IS through you to me. Grateful for your voice and life and for the wife and mom you are in that home.

    Reply
  3. diane

    You are the best, most real Mama! Somehow I think that if we thought we were doing a perfect job, somehow we would not be. Just keep being so very real – you are awesome at that! Much love…..

    Reply

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