the morning sky…

When my alarm went off this morning, there was no scarlet-hued sky to greet me. I think this is the first morning since living here that the clouds were so heavy and gray that they blocked the sunrise. So I made my own light: I lit a candle.

Yesterday morning was make-and-freeze food day, and the savory scent of onion and garlic still lingers. Pumpkin spice candle joins, and suddenly it smells like Christmas.

Last night we walked home from a family dinner at my parents’ house. The air was warm and heavy, the wind thick with a soon-to-come thunderstorm. Lightning flickered on the horizon, and our little family of four excitedly pointed out each flash, trying to guess where the next would appear.

I love our little family.

Today, I hope, will be a hunker down and be together kind of day. It’s been so, so busy. Fun and busy, but busy.

Sunday was a reminder to me of the gospel, and grace that I don’t derserve [so stop trying to.] I think I used to do a better job at running to the Holy Spirit for help, at looking to Jesus when condemnation was heaping. But somehow, the constant pressure of being wife and mom has left me overwhelmed by my weakness and pride and guilt and every other yucky thing that comes out of our souls when we get squished. And I’ve forgotten — forgotten Jesus, a Savior, and the Holy Spirit, my help. People see the beauty of grace when I’m living in a constant state of needing, asking, and receiving. Trying to be more perfect is just not going to impress anyone with how wonderful Jesus is, and it exhausts me. Like grinding gears with no oil. Awful.

I’d rather have living waters bubbling.

I need Him.

almost 4.

Jameson’s birthday is in a few short days. The “year of 3 and 1” is almost over, and I’ll miss it. Tons.

Except that I do love the bigger boy my first baby is becoming.

My recent favorite Jameson quote:

A few days ago, the boys each got a red helium balloon at the hardware store. When they got them home, the game was (of course) to let go of the string, and then wait for a grown up to come fetch the out-of-reach balloon. Once, when William let go of the string, Jameson managed to grab the string. When I expressed how impressed I was with his ability to get the balloon, Jameson explained, “Well, it’s just because my arms are very… [paused while he examined his outstretched arms, trying to find just the right word…] they’re very reachy.”

Ah.

end of august?

The green outside my window has faded into the mellow tones of summer’s end, and I realize that August is almost over. So amazing…

:: My mom was a lead in Annie, and I helped to make her fab 1930’s wardrobe. (My sister gets the credit for the amazing hair, though.)

:: My grandparents were here for almost a week. They brought their little dog, who was a huge hit.

:: The boys and I joined the family for a week on Long Island. It was, of course, wonderful.

:: The next week, the boys and I were home alone (while Ryan was on a work trip.) We had work-outside-days, picnics, and lots of William asking “uh-Dah?”, with his little upturned questions hands. (Interpretation: where’s dad?)

:: This week, we’ve been doing what feels like not much, but I read this post, and wow. I needed that. (The visible productivity is over-rated.)

:: My favorite height-of-summer recipe for this year is, hands down, Scalloped Tomatoes. (I used whole wheat batard with the crusts on. And one time, stirred in cubed mozzarella with the basil to make a one-pot meal.) Wow. So, so good, and I know that come February, I’ll be having dreams about the incredible sweetness that is garden-fresh tomatoes.

:: I try to stay a little bit in the loop, and regular emails from them help. Have you signed the petition?

:: A friend’s questions about breastfeeding gave me an excuse to re-visit favorite articles. (And to remember that part of my day’s productivity is still nourishing another human being. Being tired is okay, spending lots of time sitting and nursing is okay. It’s all okay.)

:: Heading out to an Amish farm today to pick up a bushel of peaches. It’s not a quick trip, but it’s a beautiful drive. And I think I’ll take all of those un-busy minutes of driving and turn it into some time with Jesus. Perfect.

highlights that made it to my phone

summer veg

uber cool

snitched from mama’s garden

roadside loveliness

sweet cherries from williamson

he’s for real

will heaven look like this?

what the farmer left in our field

being incredibly eager to go

golf at papa’s (in maine)

jameson’s new passion

balancing ball on tee = hardest part

papa bruce is the MAN.

yes, they really were fantastic on the road to and from maine

“mom, i’m like a big boy. take a picture, mom.”

in maine

flying by

Our first summer here is… flying by. Rooms that still need to be settled, first attempts at gardening, guests coming and going, sisters buying houses, friends buying houses, and trying to fit in “summer stuff” in all the cracks (sort of unsuccessfully, it seems) has made for busy weeks. I swear the fields were just being plowed, and then yesterday I looked, and the corn is as high as an elephant’s eye.

I don’t mind, really, because it’s fun and real and life. I only mind when I realize it’s Jameson’s last few months as a three year old and *choke on tears* I want him to stay little forever.

The summer of 1 and 3 — that’s how I keep thinking of this. So incredibly special.

Jameson and Merrick at a parade on the 4th: