Post Category → wedding

sunshine

“Until I see You face to face…”

My soul is clinging today to Him, to grace, to a haven of promise. Yesterday was like a torrential downpour on my soul–and just when you finally get an umbrella of faith opened up, a gust of wind comes and blows your teeny-tiny umbrella inside out, leaving you drenched and undone. Bedtime was the best thing of the day, as much as I hate to admit it.

So today I woke up almost cautiously, quietly and astutely approaching the new day. Is it safe for me in this land of the living?, my emotions wonder.

And yes, of course it is. Not because the waters of life are serene and placid, necessarily, but because God is on the throne. “His mercies are new in the morning,”
Ryan said to me last night. I said it again to myself this morning, thinking, “I’m glad the mercy is plural. I need every single one sometimes.” (Although I’m not sure how you have mercies. Isn’t it just mercy, no matter how much you have?)

Ryan had the coffee brewing, a few candles lit, and my favorite mug waiting when I stepped past the bedroom door (and this is backwards, for those who aren’t regular morning visitors around here–which made it extra-blessing-ful!) I sat with my banana and coffee, and the phone rang. It was Merrick, absolutely thrilled because he discovered that the new light saber we bought for him glows in the dark! He loves it even more now!

Ryan danced in the middle of the kitchen. “Why are you and Sarah exactly the same? Where did you guys get this from?” He just laughed. I smiled, glad for the enjoyment of humor, something totally lacking in yesterday.

Worship music plays in the background of my life, reminding me, inviting me, to look up.

So I will. I’m looking up.

Oh–and look, the sun is peeking out!

Deep sigh. It’s gonna be okay.

‘tagged’

So, is Colin’s randomness really more interesting than usual, or does he really just have a “new guy” advantage?

Either way, somehow he thinks Ryan and I ought to rise to the occasion.

Hmm.

Huh.

Umm…

Tell you what. I’ll see if Ryan can get to you on this one!

misc.

It’s not raining. It’s not sunny, but neither is it raining, so I’m thankful. Maybe I can take a walk today and remind myself of how wonderful fresh air is on a fall day!

*****

My little sister popped over yesterday to use our copier. I hope they start using it all the time; I love when they’re here visiting me!

*****

I saw a fresh new baby yesterday. He was serious, so very serious, with his eyes so OPEN! I held him and just looked and looked, letting the joy of such a moment seep down into places that have yet to be fully refreshed. I’ve always been amazed by how much a new baby can minister to me. Thanks, Aiden.

*****

I listened to country music while I drove. Actually, the same CD has been in for days and days while I soak up every clear and perfect nuance. As I listened to the banjo and twangy voices yesterday, I had to laugh at myself. Country music? Granted, I don’t listen to all country music, but… Come On Over and Fly–my introductory country music experiences. And I’ve never gone back.

*****

Our little aparment is never quieter or more fun than when we’re both totally absorbed in artistic projects. He, with his letters and numbers and funny symbols–and the occasional call for help with a color opinion–and me with glue and paper, needle and thread. Music blares and we barely notice. And of course, time flies while we barely notice, too. Needless to say, we had a late night!

*****

Another trip this weekend. I’m looking forward to seeing my “in” family. It’s amazing how quickly they’ve found a place in my heart, and how eager I am to learn everything I can so I can love them well. They’re wonderful people.

That’s all. Back to my morning!

late.

It’s late.

Friends were here for dinner and stayed to visit. We all were happy to end things on the early side and find our beds at a reasonable hour. Just as jackets were gathered and good-byes said, Ryan got a call. Without hesitation, he donned sweater and shoes and was gone.

And so I gleaned all the inspiration from his sacrifice that I could and managed to wash all of the dishes. That done, I sat and read… and waited.

He’s not home, though. He’s happily, willingly still out there somewhere, talking with a young man who needs him. So I think I’ll call it a night, but just thought I’d mention out loud:

I’m very in love. I’m loved very well. And for that, I count myself well blessed.

september 30

He was one of us.

That’s all I keep thinking.

One of us. Like flesh and blood, really. One of my own family. Koinonia, I guess you call it. Lives intertwined so significantly.

Hustle and bustle. Cook and clean, and cook again. Smile and give hugs and try to hear the Lord for weeping, hurting peers.

But it’s quiet now. They’ve all gone off to prepare for the beginning of final farewells. I’m alone, and am suddenly so sad. So overwhelmed by how it hurts.

He was one of us.

Man, it hurts.

backtracking

a lost post from september.

After snuggling deep into a wool sweater all day yesterday (and avoiding puddles, having perpetually damp hair, and a chill affecting my spine), I am very happy to see today’s forecast: 68 and sunny. I think I’ll make sure to be outside a bit today.

I woke up at 7:00 this morning, which I haven’t done in awhile. It started with exhaustion catching up to me, sleeping consistently through my alarm, and finally giving up and letting sleep run its course. But that led to sleep getting the best of me, robbing me of early mornings, and leaving me with that awful sense of being lazy and a bit behind. Enough is enough, and last night I set my alarm. Funny how a little thing like getting up infuse my rest with a sense of anticipation.

Now if I can just start getting to bed at a reasonable hour. (These are the “growth curves” of being newly married: how to be a night person for him and a morning person for me…)

Days seem to disappear rapidly as of late. Not that they haven’t always, but now those hours melt away, dissipate, vanish into thin air as never before. It’s morning, and then it’s mid-afternoon. Before I know it, it’s time for candles and lamps and post-dinner chores. I only pray that I’m able to do what it is He has for me in this fleeting space of time. Grasping and holding certainly won’t help, but living in His presence, abiding in Him–that will fill these short days with meaning. It will cause my vapor of a lifespan to have impact.

Lord, use me today. My plans aren’t very grandiose. No one ever made history cleaning a bathroom–but somehow use me. Let the fragrance of Christ fill the rooms I enter and the conversations I have. Let my mind be on You and Your Kingdom. Fill my cup to overflowing.