new baby.

“Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb His generous legacy?”

And in the midst of school starting and birthday celebrating, weather cooling and leaves falling, we found out a new baby is coming.

Me with my three also-expecting sisters

Some of the first joys have been the other children’s responses, especially Beatrice. She is so very excited, and also so very thoughtful toward me. Another joy is the provision of a new midwife to our area.

Most of all, looking around at the five faces who gather at our table for each meal (and who all follow me around all day long!) and trying to fathom how blessed we are to have these gifts in our lives. Five people God has used me to usher into the world, and now another soul to love and be blessed by.

A short walk last month

Of course the front end brings with it the immediate challenge to give and be stretched, as I balance upset stomach with need for food NOW, and the non-stop waves of exhaustion that bring my days to a screeching halt, sometimes only a few hours in. Life is pared down to most needful (which ends up still being a lot these days, I’m finding) and so school isn’t fun and flashy. Just basic. Diligence is the name of the game. Autumn is slipping by and I’m not out there, walking down leaf-strewn trails and seeking new adventure with my brood each afternoon. Silly, but that’s hard for me, and an opportunity to say firmly to my soul, “Another year. The kids are fine just playing in the yard, and you’re saying YES to a whole new person.” It’s worth the loss of a few tromps in the woods. More than worth it.

Naptime with Cecily

So here we are, already 1/4 of the way through a season of expectation that will culminate in the arrival of Baby #6 next May. I am so, so thankful.

Mornings are mostly still “mine”, with quiet time, walk, and exercise. Sometimes it all goes downhill from there, but I so enjoy the start of the day!

Pretty little girls!

Afternoon snack and read aloud — a [mostly] daily highlight.

Ten weeks. That’s a pro-level bump. Ha!

over a decade with my baby.

There was a birthday celebrated in September that must be recorded: my eldest, Jameson.

He was just born, wasn’t he?, and yet no. There is over a decade’s worth of memories crammed into the treasure chest of my heart.

He is growing. He is tall, yes, but he is growing. A quieter heart, a new confidence, the incredible perception and awareness he’s always had growing into wisdom. He’s still just a boy, but this older boy I’m just sort of observing and marveling at.

I can’t believe how much my heart is just wrapped up in him. My beautiful boy.

I blinked, and suddenly, we’re here:

First morning as an 11yo, drinking coffee and chatting with Cecily, who just adores him.

Perfect freckles.

school days

This past week was a special one: We officially started school! True, there was quite a bit of math and lots of pages of language that had been finished here and there, in pockets of time, but our real honest-to-goodness start was this past Monday. (There are many reasons I love homeschooling, and being able to accommodate our life’s schedule, rather than the other way around, is a huge reason. Some years we begin in August, and this year we pushed it off to enjoy the gift of visitors. In so many ways, curriculum is a tool, not a master!)

There isn’t much new or sparkly about this year. Our rhythm looks similar to past years. The important elements of our day, around which other things just have to fit, remain pretty much the same. This meant a fairly smooth beginning, as the kids all know how to do this. We worked hard and got the week’s requirements finished, and still had time for a good long annual trek in the ADKs with our friends. And an ice cream treat after grocery errands on Thursday afternoon! (Gotta celebrate school and a September that is maintaining highs in the mid-80s!)

Ready and waiting.

In action.

“Free time!” = kids sitting inside and reading. We’ve missed school!

Boys figuring out the rhythm of their days and deciding a jump start is more fun.

slipping into september

September came…

A few weeks with a dear family — continual laughter and friendship and food. What a gift!

And then back to just us.

They love each other. So much.

We’re slipping math and workbooks into the days, but looking forward to one more special guest this week before we break out the new routines. We can’t wait to break it all out — and we’re also loving the fluidity of these weeks.

Soon.

For now, the beauty of transition.

au revoir, august

Our field is finally hayed. The wild tangle of goldenrod and Queen Ann’s Lace is gone, cut and dried and rolled into a momentary pastoral tableau that made me smile with satisfaction before it was carried away on a flatbed farm trailer.

We’re cleaning up from summer, I guess.

Crickets chirp continuously. Are they louder in August, or do I just grow more aware, knowing windows will soon close and then the world will close, too, hemmed in by snow and ice and stillness. A cicada interrupts the monotone symphony and I hush us: Listen! See! Smell! Savor it all, bottle it up, soul fed and ready for a long hibernation and an austere diet of frozen beauty.

We sit in sundresses and shorts still, soaking in sunshine, but keeping cardigans and afghans at the ready, knowing the sun will dip sooner and leave us damp and chilly, smelling autumn in the evening air.

Cupboard doors, closed, hide the shelves I’ve organized, sharpened pencils in jar, curriculum chosen after long deliberations. Fresh notebooks, new chore charts, basket of living books at the ready — but for now, tucked away. Waiting a bit longer.

The end of summer is celebrated here with cakes and presents, thanks to my August babies. Fall will be ushered in the same way, thanks to boys born under harvest moons. The signposts are everywhere, I guess is what I’m saying, and yet… I’m stubbornly, sentimentally lingering. I’m not ready, not quite, not this year. I contemplate pulling out that math program during a quiet afternoon hour but then you grab a glove to play catch and I almost sigh in relief. Yes, let’s do that. Let’s be carefree and in the moment, just for one more day. Or maybe another week? Yes. Grab a blanket and book, listen to the crickets. Let’s do that.

*****

Fiona

My incredibly fun Fiona turned four last week. I don’t know how or when, but she, too, is getting older!

What a gift she is, as her personality develops and she begins to make a greater impression on the identity of our family. Her imagination is boundless. Her bravery is, too. She smiles and laughs almost all day, save for the occasional storm cloud that passes her face when she’s put out with you. There’s a feisty streak in there, but quick to learn, too, and she delights in her own growth. (“Mama, did you notice? I didn’t whine at all today!”) She’s full of ideas for how her pretend world should go, and happy to boss her generally-compliant older sister around. She’s affectionate and delightful and the greatest moment in her life was being in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which she discusses in the present tense.

I loved three year old Fiona, but I’m sure four year old Fiona will be great, too — especially since she still has the roundest, chubbiest little cheeks.

We do love her so.

Last night of being three!

Morning playground outing

Me and my girl all matchy, in chambray and denim.

Lunch with friends

Candyland before dinner. Not pictured: pizza, ice cream cake, and the huge crowd of cousins that descended!

All tucked in. Still my baby.