I left for a walk, eager to experience the colors and wind so typical of the season. My pace was brisk, my heart full, and my soul communing. And so I was rather taken off guard when suddenly, a few minutes later, I was sobbing.

Sobbing the same way I did weeks ago, as my father held my sister and me. My emotions still reject this sadness as beyond their ability to process.

So I sobbed. And cried out to the Lord.

Oh, God, please be with us. We need You… Please get a hold of our hearts. Protect us… Oh, Lord, I just want to go home! Sometimes I just don’t think I can live here any longer. I just want to be with You… Thank You for Your Son. Thank You for not forsaking us, for not leaving us hopeless in this futile world. Thank You adopting us and being our Father… Oh God, surround us.”

And thoughts came. For what it’s worth, I’ll share them:

“And in Your hands the pain and hurt look less like scars and more like character.” –sara groves

This has scarred our hearts, Lord. Use it to refine us. May we cling to You.

“He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him. So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth.” –hosea 6

How many times this month have I felt that dusk has settled permanantly? NOT TRUE–You’re the sun in my horizon.

“He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” –psalm 121

You’re watching us. We’re safe with you.

“He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day.” –psalm 91

I feel fear encroaching, even now. But no. I will not be afraid, for You are our Father. Amen.