june 19th

:: 2 days + 1 morning = how much is left of my life in Madrid.

:: I was so, so very blessed by the send-off at church on Sunday. So blessed. So overwhelmed. So very… surprised?… by the expressions of love and appreciation, although I don’t know why. I’ve only ever been encouraged and valued by my family at CFC. I feel extremely blessed to have grown up in such a congregation.

Several people offered testimony to how God had used me to minister to them in some way over the years — things that made me think, “Really? God used that?” And isn’t that just cool? Isn’t it really gracious of God to every once in awhile let us glimpse the harvest of seed we’ve sown?

After thinking about all that was said, I realized that God had kind of said, “See? I told you so.” For the last few years (or maybe I should say more like 10?) I’ve felt challenged to just serve wherever I am able, and not worry about whether or not I’m “missing God.” I felt like He was asking me to just be faithful in Today and trust Him to weave all of those Todays into something effective and worthwhile. And I’ve done my best to do just that — but sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes you wonder if you’ve missed out on “real” ministry. Sometimes you wonder if God asks you that just to teach you a lesson of being poured out.

But God is not mocked, right? Seeds bring harvest.

And so, for the future, I feel encouraged to once again put my hand to the plow and love the Lord by loving those He puts in my life, and serve the Lord by stepping forward to fill needs. He knows what He’s building, after all, and I can trust Him

:: My mom is awesome. Her 9 kids are spreading her thinner and thinner. Someday, when I have 5 little kids and feel like I might pull my hair out, I’ll remind myself that having 5 little kids is, in many ways, not so bad. Try having 5 big kids — one of whom has her first baby and is moving and needs help, lots and lots of help, another who has 3 little people and is on modified bedrest and whose husband has placed her in your capable hands for 3 weeks while he’s away, and another who’s in a show this summer and needs you to come and play accompaniment for a rehearsal, and another who’s — well, actually, #4 is pretty low maintenance –, and another who’s overseas and probably would appreciate hearing regularly from her mother. Oh, and then add 4 more kids onto that, one of whom is graduating from high school next year and needs to know what to do next, and three more who are at home and need your undivided attention, because, well, because they’re you kids.


I look at her and realize, God’s call doesn’t usually include a retirement plan. In fact, we just keep giving and giving and giving, dying, and dying, and dying. Subtly, deep in my sub-conscious, is this notion that someday we get to kick back. But that’s not really in the Bible. It’s just not. And I so deeply admire my mother, and others like her, who are actually taking it up a notch when the culture around them says it’s time to be indulgent.

And as I look on, observing that this is sometimes hard, and yet they do it anyway (and with joy!), I am so, so convicted. I do not want selfishness, laziness, or popular thought to keep me from serving the Lord with great fervor until the very end. No, I want to be like mom, holding grandbabies and teaching 3rd grade English and everything in between — wholeheartedly. I want to know, like she knows, that the sacrifice is worth the eternal reward.

:: I have so many other things to write about, but they are officially waiting for another time.

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