I’m pretty big into meal planning. This is relatively new — since Jameson was born, I guess. In the craziness of learning to juggle homemaker responsibilities and caring for a newborn, I discovered that having a meal plan for the week was a life saver. I always have the ingredients I need, because I use the meal plan to compose my grocery list, and if I have an unexpected free hour one morning or afternoon, I can bake or cook something I’ll need later in the week — and so the dinner rush doesn’t happen at 4pm. It’s awesome.
Except that suddenly just looking at my cookbooks makes me sick to my stomach. The Food Network induces nausea. And opening my fridge triggers my gag reflex.
So my menu plan this week?
Cheerios and bananas.
Homemade whole wheat toast.
Maybe a fried egg, if I need protein.
Grapefruit juice.
(Repeat as needed until the week is over.)
Sorry Ry.
Oh, and sorry to the three girls who are flying all the way across the country to visit me. Hope you don’t mind doing your own shopping and cooking while you’re here.
*****
I don’t love to clean. But I do love to live in a clean house. I also don’t love to do laundry, but like most anyone, we all seem to appreciate clean clothes. So I have a little routine that keeps all of those plates spinning, results in a clean house, and I don’t have to wait till I feel like it.
Except that lately, I can’t seem to muster up anything more than I don’t care.
Which means that at this point, I should probably use a heavy duty shop vac to vacuum my rugs.
But I promise, girls who are flying all the way across the country, that I will do what must be done before you arrive.
*****
I’m a morning routine kind of person. No matter how long it takes, Jameson and I are dressed in decent outfits and groomed before we move on to the rest of the day.
Of course, this past week, Jameson’s decent outfit lasts about two hours. I’m not sure why, but the poor child never gets his pants back after his first diaper change of the day.
*****
And I could cry over my constant nausea and not having anything for Ryan to eat; over the dust on my piano that is changing it’s shiny black gloss to a dull gray; over my poor child, who is taken to the store with bed head (but at least is at that point fully dressed.)
Or I can just smile, muscle through, and know that someday this, too, shall pass.
And in the meantime, three girls are flying across the country to see me. Did I mention that? Yes? Well. I’m afraid it can’t be helped. I’m awfully excited.
Early pregnancy is sure a time to sacrifice for our families, huh? I’ll be praying for grace for you to accomplish what you need to and forget about the rest!
Oh man! You get the Food Network?!?!?! Can you somehow send it my way while you’re too sick to enjoy it? :)
Hang in there. If there’s one thing I’m slowly realizing, it’s that letting things go for a day or a week or a month or even the better part of a year (can you believe it was about a year ago that I started having the bleeding in pregnancy?!) doesn’t really make that big a difference in the end. There have been lots of days in the past 12 months when I thought I would never get back on track. But we pretty much are. And I really don’t think anyone who came in my home today would know how bad it’s been at times!
The beginning of this pregnancy was completely different than with Asher and probably what’s considered more ‘common’ and ‘normal’ with lovely morning sickness at random times during the day and even in the evening.
The few weeks I was sick with that, I also was sick with a bad cold. Talk about Gabe fending for himself in the meals department. Grocery shopping was enough to make me nauseous. I’d send Gabe emails of what we needed and he was in charge for a bit. I was too out of it to even care that he always came home with ‘extra’ stuff I’d never buy!
It was a miracle to just get out of bed and take care of Asher most days. I cried a lot! And mostly to Gabe about how on earth I was going to take of Asher and a newborn when I couldn’t even muster up enough strength/motivation, whatever, to take care of us three! But it does get better. I won’t even mention the house situation! You’re right, it will all pass and things will start to feel normal again. I can now attest to that.
Know you’re NOT alone in “falling behind” in things. Remember, your body is gearing up for the works of nothing shy of a miracle, with major things developing early on like brain, heart, etc… That’s a lot to do!!
If anything take advantage of those girls coming. Milk it while you can, because come second/third trimester you’ll wake up to find this amazing energy to tear your house apart cleaning, organizing, and sorting. That’s where I am now and that most certainly wasn’t the case in the beginning. Hang in there!
Hi Danica :) What a precious post! I am sending big hugs with this note. I’m not a very good “let goer” but Brietta is so right. I’m praying for joy and peace for you for these days, and patience, too (esp with yourself). Love you so! Q
Ugh. I can totally relate to the feeling of not wanting to do anything.. All I wanted to do my first trimester was lay on the couch. I had no motivation whatsoever, and felt like there was something wrong with me for not caring about anything. But thankfully, the feeling passed, and I felt normal again.
And then, if you are like me, in your third trimester you will start organizing and cleaning things that you have never wanted to organize or clean before. I have been washing everything in my house… even basket liners, for heavens sake!
And grocery shopping. Yuck. I used to gag my way past the cheese bar, fresh fish and meat sections. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Even now the cheese bar makes me gag a little.
I hope you feel better soon. Having company should help. I always felt better when there was something to distract me.
I remember feeling sooo terrible, and looking at my husband and saying incredulously, “how can I get everything done?!?!” He looked perplexed at the question and just calmly stated “you won’t, just let it go!”
Now, you know how much sacrifice there is in just “letting it go”!! I had to learn a new skill, and I remember thanking God for the lesson I didn’t want, but would find useful in future days. Here’s a hug, and a prayer for better days soon. Say “hi” to Lore!
the i don’t care thing. yeah. i get that a lot. and i figure it doesn’t really matter. it will always be around and it will get done when it gets done. though i am sure you rheart is in a better position than mine. however, i like how you said we will just feel more of a sense of accomplishment in other areas. good perspective. and i know how it goes about having no motivation for cooking, etc… it’s like what can you do that won’t’ turn a stomach? the cook books… i identify with all of this quite well. hugs to you!!!