Tonight I excitedly threw a load of brand new kissaluvs into the wash. A few more cycles, and they’ll be fluffed up and ready to go. They’re tiny and soft and squishy… and I can’t wait to put their softness on my new baby!
This morning, getting ready for church required tidying the entire house, wiping down the bathroom, starting laundry, you name it. I was suddenly frantic about the cluttered state of things. I mean, what if I go into labor? What if I go into labor and the bathroom looks like this? What if I go into labor, the bathroom looks like this, and my mother isn’t here yet???? The afternoon’s activities were motivated by similar thoughts.
Today’s grocery shopping included a lot of “what would be good to have in the house… in case?” You know. In case I go into labor. In case I go into labor and my mother isn’t here.
I don’t remember having any days like this when I was expecting Jameson. Is it because I wasn’t having a homebirth? Because my mom and sisters lived within yelling distance of our apartment? Because I just didn’t know better? Not sure. At any rate, I’m wondering how I can stay ready enough to allay these fears of throwing up in a dirty bathroom (worst, worst, worst thing imaginable!), but not be worked into a constant state of waiting. I do not want to live in some clean-the-house holding pattern for the new few weeks.
But you never know. I just may.
Of course, I could occupy myself by working on boy names. Because we don’t really have one. Ugh.
The continuing request for input: What’s your advice on going from one to two? (Kids, that is. Not jeans size. Ha!!)
Not sure if I have and “tips” but I’ll tell you my experience.
It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be (with Ali being 13 months). Noel slept so much at the beginning that he really eased us into the transition. I was able to give Ali almost as much attention as I used to during all of N’s little naps…so she got used to having him there and understanding that there was another little person that needed me too.
I remember being scared and nervous and thinking “How could I possibly have enough love to go around?” BUT THERE IS CERTAINLY ENOUGH LOVE!! :o) I’m sure you know that from your family! Just kind of a panic I worked myself into…but it all turned out wonderfully…and it doesn’t take long to become an ol’ pro!!
First, yay for your kissaluvs!! I love fitted diapers, they are a close second to prefolds. When your feeling adventurous and settled into having 2 babies, grab some prefolds. (There are lots of different fabrics/brands/etc. but we’ve foudn basic diaper service quality prefolds work great.) They are super affordable, easy to wash and folding isn’t as hard as it seems. I love them.
Advice for going from one to two… I have to say that Lael was such an independent toddler, it wasn’t hard for us until Alyssa’s food allergy symptoms began at 3 mos. But I think I would agree with whoever wrote to just take one thing at a time. I didn’t have a lot of help with that transition (my mom had just had a triple bypass) and we just took things slow. The house was a mess for weeks, I’m sure. I wore Alyssa as much as I could. (Do you have a Moby wrap? They are excellent for newborns. If you need one, let me know. I’ll dig mine out and mail it to you.) During Alyssa’s nap times, I would play with Lael – playdough, painting, etc. to remind her I was here for her too. Lael just loved Alyssa from the minute we introduced them. She wanted to help with her, hold her, get her a clean diaper, etc. I tried to include her as much as I could. I’d read to her while I was nursing Alyssa, she would help change diapers, pat Alyssa on the back and sing to her when I was rocking her, etc. This is a lot of babble, I hope it makes sense!
I have to tell you, having my second was the best thing in the world!! I (we) had NO problems and it was soooo fun to share the “newborn” with our first born! She loved the new baby and, because of how I handled things (including her in just about everything), she adapted just fine. She never felt “slighted” and it was the most enjoyable experience! Good memories (and pictures) of her being the sweetest “big” sister! So, have no worries, Danica! You’re a great mom and Jameson will do just fine! He comes from a very loving home…..nothing to worry about with the little guy! Blessings and prayers for your “impending” bundle of joy!!
I remember that need to get things done “just in case”! What if I went into labor and my floors weren’t vacuumed? It seemed SO important. And I wasn’t having a homebirth. I feel like the addition of a new baby was pretty easy. Kate was pretty independent, but also still took a nap. And James slept so much. (Don’t all newborns?) And I felt so much more rested when I only had to wake up to nurse and not go to the bathroom twice or try and find a comfortable position for sleeping. Moby wraps are a big plus! And Kate was so excited that the baby was finally out, that it was hard to keep her from being with James every single second of the day! (Every single morning since he was born she asks to come in our bed and play with him!)
I guess my advice would be to get your nap in each day, and to let Jameson help as much as he can. And not to try and get anything done and just enjoy your little one when he comes!
In my experience the “evens” are easy and the “odds” are hard. Hard with one, piece of cake with two, difficult with three, easy with four, and five? Well, I guess that’s when the theory wears off, because by then you’re up to your eyeballs in chaos you don’t have time to think about whether it’s easy or not.
I found it interesting that you began “nesting” right around the amount of days before your due date that a chicken starts getting broody and hunkers down in her nest.
I remember feeling sad, worried, and anxious for Asher before Sophia came. How would he react? Would he feel resentment towards the new baby and throw terrible fits like I pictured him doing? If anything it was quite the opposite! It was almost as if she had always been around. He loved her the minute we brought her home. I’m sure Jameson will be the same and it will absolutely melt your heart!
My advice as well for you is to just take it one thing at a time. And even a day at a time. Knowing ahead of the game that your schedule before with Jameson, housework, and hubby won’t work after baby is born is the best way to ease into another routine that will fall into place in time on it’s own. And rightfully so your day won’t ever look the same, you’ll have someone new to love.
If you’re like me what helped a lot was setting expectations really low, and I’m talking REALLY low, that way you’re not comparing all you did and got done and were capable of doing before to what will seem like absolutely nothing the first few weeks. And know that that’s OK: not getting much else done than what seems like nursing and tending to Jameson. With that mindset you won’t feel discouraged or overwhelmed. And you’ll be happy with whatever you are able to get done like if you do happen to brush your teeth by lunch time…YAH!!!!!!!!!
You’ll all be getting to know this new little someone and discovering how family dynamics change, because they certainly do! And it’s so fun to experience first hand.
When you can choose the nap/shower over vacuuming/cleaning!
You will do a wonderful job. You’re a great mom. That is evident by how much you adore Jameson. This new little one will be blessed to be apart of the Dunphey clan!
I think Timothy is an excellent name.
When I was expecting #3 I took an informal poll of moms I knew and it was a pretty even split between those who thought #1-2 was harder vs. #2-3. Although many felt that 0 to 1 was the hardest transition of all. In my own experience 1-2 was very easy, the new baby fit in like he’d been there all along. Then 2-3 was quite overwhelming. But 3-4 was easy again.
I agree with the PP that it’s good to set your expectations low. Each time I’m expecting a new baby, I tell myself that I won’t do any “real cleaning” for the first 3 months. That means thorough dusting, vacuuming the corners of rooms, etc. Basics I keep up with are laundry, dishes, vacuuming the main living areas. I’ve always felt on my feet enough to get to some of those things before my 3 months are up, but because I’ve given myself permission to take that time off it feels like a bonus to get things accomplished rather than the pressure of feeling behind.
I guarantee that when you’re in transition, you won’t notice whether or not the living room is cluttered.
Love you. :)
P.S. I liked the idea of William a lot.
Like a lot, a lot, a lot.
I have a question about boy names: is the middle-name-first still a rule with the second boy in the family? Is one of the names supposed to be Ryan or Bruce still, or maybe a grandfather name? That might make it easier or harder, but I haven’t quite figured that out yet.
Danica, I read your posts from day to day. How sweet you look and have the pregnant woman’s glow about you. You already are such an exceptional mother to your son from what I see and read on your blog, and from what I know about you even before you had your son. I admire you. I admire your thoughts on being a wife, being pregnant, being a mother and so much more. We, too, learn from those who are younger than us, and you and your sisters have a lot to share with the world. My daughter is pregnant as well and her due date is December 31. What I read on your blog, your mom’s blog, your sister Brietta’s blog, gives me more information to pass along to her. Even though she is not Christian, she still believes in the Lord and your insights on so many things are valuable to me. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a great delivery and a healthy, happy baby. Love you, Nancy C.
A reminder of things you already know:
1. Jesus is the answer to all of life’s questions.
2. Thankfulness is key.
Many people have asked us which child was the most difficult to adjust to. Though I have no recollection of this, Eric tells everyone that for Lisa, #2 was definitely the hardest. He basically says I lost it everyday. I’m sure he’s right. I didn’t have a thankful heart and I was easily discouraged, easily defeated. Wow. Humbling and embarrassing but the truth, you know. But since you’re obviously past that point in your walk with Him (if you were ever there) and have a Jesus-centered view on life, you most likely won’t have that difficulty from 1 to 2.
I’m sure I could think of some more practical things, but that was nine years ago. Cut me some slack. I’ll have to jog my memory a little and get back to you.
Excited for you, Ryan, and the Jamester.