loving ::

:: Tuna Curry

Ours was served on brown rice rather than millet. Just the same: yum. Simple, too. (And mine included 2x as much garlic, because that’s just the way I roll these days, and the generous amount of curry that Bri recommends, sauteed with the garlic and onion to boost the flavor.)

:: Gyo Fujikawa

Jameson got A Child’s Garden of Verses for Christmas, and I just love the illustrations. There are certain books that instantly bring me back to the wonder of childhood, when I would pore over the details of each picture, wanting so badly to be in the page. Fujikawa does it for me.

:: II Corinthians 9:8

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed.”

I know that’s about money, specifically, but a few days ago I read it on a morning when I was feeling pretty much on empty — but with a husband and children who need me to sow. He reminded me: He’s the God of never-ending oil, right?

I have no seed worth sowing without His grace, anyway.

forgive the random nature.

Jameson is napping. William is sleeping in my arms. Ryan is at work. And I am sitting in quiet for the first time since December 1st.

Back to life as usual.

January is gray here. The lamps have been turned on since we woke up this morning, and will stay on until we go back to bed. The chill that creeps in is damp. This is our winter. (I like the clean snow. I like the sunshine that sparkles and dances and turns the world shades of pink. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it’s awfully nice to not trudge through parking lots of sandy salty yuckiness with groceries and babies and all that fun stuff.)

I feel a bit updated. I also feel the satisfaction of having beat the system, having procured my update at an outlet ($$ saved), on clearance (muchos $$ saved!). I’m not exactly a fashion plate these days, but once in awhile, it’s nice to feel in touch. I’m still in my 20s, you know. I may as well live it up.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I think that maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to make some order out of this household chaos. My trouble is that once I get an idea of reorganizing or rearranging or somehow making my home better, I don’t want to do it; I want it done. And I chafe and inwardly fume at anyone and everyone who gets in my way. (This is bad, wrong, and sin, by the way.)

I don’t know if it’s new gifts, coming home after a month away, or a combo, but I’m feeling ready to purge. (Again. I’ve been purging since long before William was born!) Just feeling the weight and chaos of too. much. stuff. I find this is a bit difficult in this season of life. I want to say, “one toy in, one toy out.” I want to say, “If we don’t have room for it, it goes.” But on the other hand, we’re a young family trying to build a collection of books, toys, etc. And we’re in a small house that will inevitably one day be left for a larger one. How do you all handle these things?

Jameson sat at the table, coloring, and William was in his seat, quietly taking in the world around him, and I was at the kitchen sink, scrubbing onesies that had suffered damage during a blow-out. And I began singing, “I want to serve the purpose of God in my generation…” Yes. That’s what I want to do. Scrub, scrub. “Jameson, you are not allowed to break crayons. William, shhh, it’s okay, I’m almost done.” Scrub, scrub. Not glamorous, for sure. Hum drum, you might say. But Lord, if this is Your purpose for my life, I want to do it. I just want to serve You.

And, “I want to build with silver and gold…” I got to that part, and was challenged. This might be a pretty random application of that verse, but forgive me: I don’t want to scrub and shush and correct with fuming in my heart. I’m pretty sure such service will quickly be consumed like hay and stubble. I want to serve His purposes with a heart that says, “I delight to do Your will!” That shouldn’t be so hard. Really. He’s not [currently] asking me to do anything, you know, awful. In fact, most days, His tasks for me are pretty wonderful (love and respect a really good guy, love and nurture two adorable babes, and do my best to steward this house.)

Anyway, I’m glad to be reminded that today, my life can be lived not in vain. Because serving Him, doing His will, makes this fleeting life meaningful.

And I’m glad to be reminded that today, I can love Him as I serve Him. (Aren’t love and obedience inextricably connected?) Because you know what? I just want to love the Lord.

Don’t you?

from elisabeth elliot: live by the Word

I need this reminder over and over in my life. Ears get tickled too easily. Flesh looks for an easier way. Flagging perseverance wants something new.

But no. His Word is the only way.

(And, to those who follow me, I am reminded of my responsibility to accurately live the Word. Woe to me when I cause them to stumble… Serious stuff.)

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly” (Psalm 1:1, AV).

At a recent convention a young woman told me that her husband had wanted a divorce, but consented to see a Christian counselor before making it final. A member of the team in the counseling center told him that he himself was divorced and very happily remarried. That was all the husband needed. The man to whom he looked for help set the example he was hoping to find. Of course he went ahead and divorced his wife.

The twenty-third chapter of Jeremiah describes what is happening in our country today. The land is full of adulterers. Pastures have dried up. Powers are misused. Prophet and priest alike are godless, doing evil even in the Lord’s house. Jeremiah’s description of the prophets seems terribly fitting for some of those from whom Christian people are seeking guidance: “The vision they report springs from their own imagination. It is not from the mouth of the Lord…. To all who follow the promptings of their own stubborn heart they say, ‘No disaster shall befall you.’ But which of them has stood in the council of the Lord, seen him and heard his word? Which of them has listened to his word and obeyed?” (Jeremiah 23:16-18, NEB).

Here is a good test to apply to any of whom we seek counsel. Has this person stood in the council of the Lord? Seen Him? Heard His word? Listened and obeyed? Note the few who have actually paid a price for their obedience (like Jeremiah who was flogged, imprisoned, dropped into a pit of slime, etc.). These few are the ones to follow.

The chapter goes on to describe prophets who speak lies in God’s name, dream dreams, give voice to their own inventions, concoct words of their own, and then say, “This is his very word.” They mislead with “wild and reckless falsehoods.”

“If a prophet has a dream, let him tell his dream; if he has my word, let him speak my word in truth. What has chaff to do with grain? says the Lord” (v. 28).

Beware of those who are afraid to quote Scripture, who say it’s too “simplistic,” doesn’t apply here, won’t work. Beware of the counselor who is “nondirectional.” Be cautious when the advice given makes you feel comfortable when you know you’re really wrong. “Do not my words scorch like fire? says the Lord. Are they not like a hammer that splinters rock?” (v. 29).

It wasn’t only the awesome prophets of the Old Testament who spoke this way. Think of the words of Jesus. Though often He spoke “comfortable words,” words that brought peace and hope, He spoke also those words that seared like fire (“Depart from me, I never knew you”; “Get behind me, Satan!”) and splintered rock (“You will never get out until you have paid the last farthing”; “Whoever wants to be first must be the willing slave of all”).

“The form of words you shall use in speaking amongst yourselves is: ‘What answer has the Lord given?’ or ‘What has the Lord said?'” (Jeremiah 23:35, NEB).

This applies, of course, only to those who care what the Lord wants. Those who have already decided to do their own thing need not apply for truly godly counsel.

three things.

I’m working on posts about my new sweet William, who is currently asleep on my chest. Mmm, I am loving the smell of new baby! I’ve taken some more pictures and will get them posted, too. Because you just have to see this little miracle of ours! For now, don’t mind a cut-to-the-chase post on the upcoming election. Two weeks out, it’s time to stay fervent and prayerful.

One, regarding voting for a third party in this upcoming election:

(I know you’ve all at least read snippets of this post. Humor me while I once again submit a portion for perusal.)

I sympathize with wanting to send a message to the Republican Party. I have done this both in state elections and once on the presidential level. One year I wrote in a third party candidate Alan Keyes, an African American who has boldly stood up for unborn children. There is a time to do this.

But is this the time, when failing to vote for McCain could ultimately remove hundreds of laws limiting abortion at the statewide level—informed consent and parental consent and late term abortion measures? As a physician commenting on my last blog said, prolife physicians and nurses and hospitals could find themselves with a federal mandate to perform abortions, and lose their licenses if they refuse. The Freedom of Choice Act, which Obama promised Planned Parenthood he will sign if elected president (my previous blog has this on video), could ultimately do all this and more. It may also make life very difficult for Pregnancy Resource Centers.

Two, regarding voting for Obama:

(This is a post written by my husband. It’s black and white. I’d apologize for the lack of gray, but you know, the more I think about this, the less gray I see.)

I am appalled to hear that some Christians’ are supporting Barack Obama; such behavior will be judged—this is my only consolation.

We live in the greatest nation on earth and it is great for a plethora of reasons. And no reason is more supreme than that we are a “government of the people, by the people, and for the people.” Likely human history has never witnessed another earthly institution of its kind, equipping her people with innate respect, dignity, trust, and equality, by simply allowing them the opportunity to rule themselves. Yes at its fundamental core, the right to vote holds with it the ability to secure our freedom or reap the gravest of destruction.

As such then, by citizenship, we inherit the terrible and high responsibility to lead this nation and her people, together. And while many may abdicate such an awesome burden, we will never be free from accountability to God in this regard. Make no mistake: it is God Himself who has called us to leadership within this Republic, and it is God Himself who will judge us accordingly (Romans 13:1).

As a nation, we will forever face many tough and heart wrenching issues; sadly, on this side of eternity, life will never be fair. Yet I believe no single issue will ensure God’s wrath faster than that of legalized and publicly funded abortion. And make no mistake, a vote for Barack Obama is a vote to sacrifice the lives of babies at the gain of your pet political agenda. You will be judged for this.

May God help us.

Three, a reminder to remember to see this from God’s perspective, and not just from the finite perspective of our current living status. Regardless of the wisdom of a candidate on certain areas, a man who does not align himself with God in the area of legalized bloodshed in the nation he is ruling is setting himself in opposition to God and His blessing. The people dwelling under such leadership simply cannot expect favor. Rather, they can expect judgment. There are spiritual principles at work here.

voting: the issue

Here comes November. And now that Palin’s on the ticket, there actually seems to be a bit of a race towards that Tuesday.

I’ll admit that my enthusiasm for this whole campaign significantly waned when Ron Paul’s moment was over. While he was certain to not win, it was sort of fun to actually be excited about a man who seems to get it the way I do.

That said, this whole election process has made me painfully aware of the fact that it seems like Christians (especially my generation) are, umm, bored with being pro-life. Somehow it’s old-fashioned, or simplistic, to think abortion to be the most important issue. Please read what John Piper has to say on the “one-issue” issue.

It’s true that there are so many important issues. Goodness knows that’s why I was excited about Ron Paul: finally, someone who addresses foreign policy and economics and state’s rights and everything else in a way that I think is right.

It’s true that Christians can have a biblically informed response to those issues, too. Yes, my faith does shape the way I think about environmental stewardship.

But name one — one — of those important issues that is addressed point-blank by scripture. Show me where God speaks black-and-white on whether or not we should drill in Alaska. Or whether or not tax dollars should be spent towards American auto research. Or whether or not my husband should have his money simply taken away and distributed to the less fortunate, or given to us so that we can give it away. (Guess where I fall on that one.)

I love to get to the bottom of these conscience issues along with the best of them. I do. And I hope that someday, I’ll be able to see pro-life on two tickets, and then decide based on some of these other issues. Josh Harris awaits that day, too. Please read what he has to say about abortion, “voting John McCain”, and the responsibility of Christians in the upcoming election.

Yes, someday, prayerfully, there will be more than one candidate willing to stand against abortion.

But we’re not there yet.

There’s whole-sale slaughter still happening. Right this minute. As you read this.

So you tell me: is it time to be bored? Is it time to move on? Is it time to wrangle about with tax cuts and public school strategies?

Or should we still be one-issue people?

the first day

“And there was evening and there was morning, one day.” ( — genesis 1)

I remember reading that line several years ago, and how it jumped out as odd, worth a second look.

Evening and morning, one day? That’s not right. It should be morning and evening. Right? Isn’t that how we all figure one day? So why was it backwards?

Ponder. Think. Wonder.

And suddenly, ah yes. Evening and morning.

God’s days never end with dark. They always end with morning. That first day of creation was a promise to us of how things will be: after this black of night, fraught with sin and suffering, there will be morning. And that is where we will live for the rest of forever — in a Day where there will be no need for the sun, because He will be there.

I think of that often. We all do, in our own way, I suppose. We all groan in our spirits for redemption. “Maranatha!,” is a cry familiar to our hearts, I dare say. As much as I love the sunsets, flowers, smell of crunchy leaves, and laughter of my darling son, I am not at home in this dark and tormented world. Here there is the Curse, and that doesn’t settle well with me. I’m looking to an eternity where Peace and Justice and Love reign completely.

The cry for heaven turned up a few notches when I turned the calendar page this week. Fall carries with it anniversaries of deep, scarring sadness. It wasn’t always the case, but in the last few years, the searing pain of tragedy has etched its mark on me, and this season brings it again to the surface.

My heart feels heavy. I sob at lunch, seemingly unprovoked, but I know why.

I carry pain, as though it were my own, and I wouldn’t have it any other way… but still, it’s pain. It’s questions. It’s wanting an end to this Curse.

And it’s the poignant Hope for redemption.

While the pain becomes sharp again, so does the faint outline of things hoped for. Heaven — redemption, resurrection, Jesus — becomes almost tangible. Waves of deep sorrow cannot deny the Rock of comfort to which I cling. And the harder they storm, the more firm does this Hope become.

There will come a Day…

We can know it, because we have seen the Morning Star rise on the horizon. And the moment He appeared, so did the promise of evening and then morning.

(The soundtrack of this week’s heart cry.)