Christmas thoughts

Our tree is so pretty. It was also so very much fun to decorate it this year, which makes its beauty all the more enjoyable. The kids pause on their way through the room to admire it from afar, or perhaps run over just to make sure their favorite ornament is still in that special spot. Our tree night was filled with dancing and laughing and Christmas music in the background — and free from frustration or dashed hopes or any of the other things that can so often accompany traditions.


tree night photos here.

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Christmas isn’t about getting presents. We all want our kids to know it’s so much more than that. No one’s happy when suddenly their children turn into greedy monsters the day after Thanksgiving. But this year, I’ve been challenged by the idea that Christmas isn’t about giving, either. At least, not presents. I needed that little reminder from the Holy Spirit because I love this excuse to give gifts to my kids, my family, my friends—so much fun! But I can get uptight, too, about choosing the perfect gift. So maybe my kids need to lift their eyes from the getting, but I need to lift my eyes from the giving sometimes. I need to remember that Jesus is all that matters. (And if I’m going to get caught up in giving, give love.)

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We are dancing loosely through these days of December. We fit in chores here and there, quickly pull out a page of math, surreptitiously fit in a reading lesson while doing Christmas crafts. But we also linger in PJs a little longer. Bake cookies. Visit friends.

Saturday, after being out late at the CFA Christmas concert, I declared a Christmas holiday. We ate rice pudding (a rare treat these days), wore our pajamas, and watched The Nutcracker from under afghans. Nana (my mom) came to join us. It was the slow family day you dream of. What a blessing.


boys getting ready to decorate the first rum logs of the season!

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As I add greenery here and a candle there, and in general just go all out with making the house pretty and cozy, I am more aware than ever of my ability to quickly slip into Sounding Gong and Clanging Cymbal mode: warm, cozy home without a warm, cozy Mama. Good works without love behind them is always a rather ludicrous idea, but it becomes only more so when my efforts at “warmth” are so concerted. If I have cookies baked for the neighbors but have snapped at my husband, what have I gained? If every window is lit and the garlands carefully hung but I banished my kids in frustration, what have I gained? I remind myself of this as I plan each day and carefully weigh each moment’s decisions. Better to have a little less “cozy” and little more love, I’d say. A wise woman builds her home—and her home is people.


favorite Christmas decor from Germany

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We have a surprise guest this Christmas. In case you didn’t get the message via FaceBook, here it is:

(Guess that last post will come in handy!)

november 27

Before Thanksgiving and its busyness had been completely wrapped up and put away, we were launched into an exciting weekend of BABIES!

Saturday evening, one sister began labor, followed hours later by a second. (How many times does a family get to experience such excitement?!) Sunday afternoon, I was able to travel to sweet Louissa’s house to be with her during her labor. Adrian Richard was born at midnight, on the dot. What an absolutely amazing experience.

Louissa, savoring first moments with her little Adrian.

Monday morning, while tidying Louissa’s kitchen , buying a few groceries, chopping and cooking, I waited and waited for a word from Carina. Finally, a little after 5, a text came through: a girl!

William, meeting Margaret Kathleen

A boy, a girl, in one day. Bursting. Yes, that’s how I felt. Bursting with joy and thankfulness.

Saying good-bye to Adrian
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november 18

I fell in love with this photo tonight: William, his imagination completely captured by Han Solo’s adventures. (Is that even how you spell that name?)

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Friday morning, I slipped in an early walk. Those amazing morning skies frustrate me, because there’s no way for me to ever do them justice in photos. Breathtaking!

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Also on Friday, my sister and brother-in-law came for the evening. This sister is due to have a baby any day, and I am beyond excited. At any moment, my phone could ring, and I’ll drop everything and go to be with her.

Lucky me: I have another sister whose due date is also coming up! Precious babies, momentous and life-changing moments.

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Saturday was shopping. All. Day. Long. I love it! Ryan watched the boys so I could join my mom and sister for a big Christmas shopping trip. We have so much fun and get so much done.

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Today, we dedicated Beatrice at church. What a sober and exciting opportunity: to look at her future and declare that we will give ourselves to see her know and love Jesus. Lots of other babies were dedicated, too, between the two CFC locations. We are incredibly blessed to be surrounded by peers who have the same passion and determination for their families. God is truly so, so good to us.

Spontaneously, all of my north-country-living family came for the afternoon. We all just relaxed and soaked in the peace of a few hours all together.

The best part may be the plethora of little people running around, making everything more fun and special simply by being here. And to think: we’re adding two more cousins this month!

Claire, in the background, being adorable as always.

november 15

Today was:

Coffee, laundry, prayer, Bible, chatting with my 6 year old mister.

Walking to the tune of freezing face and appendages. It’s really cold out there! (I’ll be laughing at myself in a couple of months, when the thermometer is struggling to reach 0 degrees!)

Breakfast that took too long.

Devotions, where every word I spoke to the boys turned right around and convicted me. Some days it’s just like that. I need Jesus every bit as much as they do.

Cleaning bedrooms: The dust in mine was horrific. Convincing Jameson to throw away the pile of junk on his dresser was traumatic.

Walking to my mom’s house for Jameson’s 1912 literature class, where we learned about Jim Thorpe. Life is very sad and very hard. Heaven is a good promise.

Waving good-bye to our very wonderful neighbors. Sure, we only have been neighbors for 2.5 years, but these people have been a presence here in town for much longer than I’ve been alive. Long before I knew their names, I knew their familiar faces as they passed our house on their daily walk. We’ll really miss them.

Lunch of PB&J.

Lots of discussions on not harassing little brothers, not being a tattle-tale, being quick to forgive and move on, obeying even when Mama is not in the room, and saying NO to foolishness. (Lots.)

Naps, quiet, Christmas shopping online.

Coffee for me (and a bit for the 6 year old) while we cuddled up and watched this.

Math, coloring, vacuuming, reading.

Lighting candles and pj’s.

Lastly, pizza, root beer, and Star Wars 6 (with Daddy manning the remote controls. We like to skip the scantily-clad Leia scenes. Ick.)

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november 13

So, yes. The weekend flew by, and somehow swept Monday right along with it. Unseasonably warm weather, almost the whole Sinclair family in one house on the same day, and husbands with the day off convincing the rest of us that we, too, should take a vacation day results in, well, a vacation!

Today it’s back to being 40 degrees, give or take. So the boys drew fantastic pictures of “November is… bare trees”, and “November is… football!” My boys do not just sit and draw, unless it’s the beginning of the school year and there are all new drawing utensils (of course). I usually have to assign such creative pursuits — and once assigned, they throw themselves into it. (Hmmm. I think I need to come up with drawing assignments more often.)

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Jameson lost his first tooth Sunday morning. He exuberantly bounced into the kitchen, eyes beaming, mouth full of blood. Ha! We dutifully saved his eensy-weensy tooth, and then Ryan told some elaborate tall tale about a tooth fairy tapping on the window and fluttering around the room while they slept. William, who is far too clever to fall for such yarns, declared that he “knowed” the tooth fairy did no such thing; he would have heard the rapping and woken up. So there. We’re not sure whether or not he realizes the tooth fairy is completely non-existent, or if he’s just quite confident in his sharp hearing skillz. Either way, he’s ridiculously cute, and we’ll keep him. Also, Jameson will keep the dough, regardless of the realness of said tooth fairy.

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Sometimes, like today, I go into my room to check on my sleeping babe, and I find a wide-eyed, smiling, frowsy-headed darling. Her cheeks are irresistibly pink in the morning, and her chubby arms and hands are just that much softer. Over a year later, she’s still greeted with joy and celebration by her brothers every morning. She just may feel like the most special girl in the world. (And that wouldn’t be far from the truth. As we read at naptime, God said, “Let there be Beatrice”, and then saw that it was good. Pretty special, if you ask me.)

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Our school day routine includes devotions after breakfast. This is when our home turns into part church, part circus, part tyrranical-toddler-grabs-every-candle-while-her-mom-is-trying-to-memorize-scripture. I love it. We’ve had such wonderful little conversations, Ryan has been able to teach their little hearts so many important truths, and we get to pray for so many people that we love. I’m not kidding about the toddler part, though. After being told many times to sit down, here she is. Gotta love a little spunk, right?

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Day after day. Weeks, months, years. I’m alternately exhausted by the big events, and worried that the small days are amounting to nothing. My worry knows no end, when allowed to run its course. Thankfully, thankfully, my job is not to orchestrate our lives. There’s the Holy Spirit for that sort of thing. He weaves and guides and creates beauty in ways I’m astonished by, in ways I’ll not even know the whole of until I’m looking at Time from Eternity. For now, faithfulness is my portion: being faithful to believe, to repent, to trust, to live for Him.