Post Category → faith

today

Today I woke up to a morning of breeze, sunshine, blue skies, and clear, cool air. Fresh. Refreshing. After a long and humid heat wave, I am very thankful. Throw open the windows and breathe it in.

Today I sat up in bed slowly, stretching my stiff body, moving slowly toward a standing position. There is no more springing out of bed these days. I do my little exercise and laugh when she tells me to “Pull in your belly button till it’s touching your spine.” I’m afraid that’s just not going to happen. Not today.

Today it is Sunday. Children sleep late after a long week of summertime fun. We will get ready for church, but we will not worry too much about morning routines of laundry and such. We will let our souls rest and focus, let our hearts ready themselves for worship. More refreshing.

Today I am 37 weeks along. I feel in my body and know in my head that I’m nearing the end, but still. I can’t quite wrap my mind around how quickly this has all gone, and how soon there will be a new person in our family.

Today my mind flits from one area of my life to another, all in so much need of growth and improvement. My brow creases, my heart feels heavy, and I wonder Will I ever get this? And today, faithfully, just like every other day, the Holy Spirit firmly reminds me of Jesus. So much — all — will be added to me, if I will but let those things fall into their place, and let Jesus take His. His yoke is easy, His burden is light: “Come to Me.”

Today, I come to Jesus.

a little order goes a long way

Open Heart — Open Home:

I already mentioned this book, and what a wonderful refresher it was on living lives poured out — for the Lord and for His Bride. After many inspirational and challenging pages on the spiritual basis for such life priorities, Karen Mains gets into some practical how-to’s:

Know the shortcuts. Have a routine. Don’t clean for company; clean according to that routine. Make a little pie-chart of your time, and really? Really, you spend that huge chunk cleaning your house instead of loving people??

Of course, she didn’t write it quite like that, but that’s how the Holy Spirit said it to me. I was simultaneously convicted and liberated (which is what usually happens when God points out an area of weakness and offers His life instead.)

I don’t want to spend most of my life behind on my housework, buried under a mountain of tedium that feels hopeless and holds me captive. The whole point of my house and the work it involves is that it be a home — a place of refuge and godly culture that impacts people.

I read that in June, and began praying for wisdom. I’m famous for getting really excited about regimens and then turning into a sergeant, dragging the rest of the family behind me. I didn’t want that. I wanted to have the wisdom of the Lord for better managing my life, so that I could more effectively bless Him. And after hemming and hawing about potentially “ruining” our summer with a new-for-this-season chore chart, I finally did it. After all, I realized, a new baby is coming, and then a new school year with two students, and the time for learning some new routines is now.

And I am so, so thankful.

We’re not living in a constant state of deep-clean, by any means, but I was able to identify some areas that continually tormented me, if you will, and got systems to conquer them:

Laundry done — folded, put away — before breakfast.
Dishwasher unloaded, dish drain emptied, sink cleaned — before breakfast.
Kitchen floor vacuumed every morning.
General tidying and cleaning every day.

And all by 10am, freeing us to play, do errands, enjoy company — planned or spontaneous — and (let’s be honest) take naps. And wake up from the nap in a fairly tidy house.

For me, front-loading my day is what works. Post-lunch has never, ever been a predictably productive time for me. Living in a just-spring-cleaned house is a pipe dream, but some order and tidiness can actually go a long way. Certain dirt bothers me more than other dirt. These are things I’m learning, things that I can take into account as I order my life and prioritize my time as housekeeper.

And new babies change everything. That’s something else I’ve learned. An unknown variable that you just have to be ready to work with.

That’s okay. Because seasons come, go, and change constantly. Each day is different, and so is each home. You’re you, and I’m me. Your family isn’t my family, and our outworking of hospitality is unique. But the heart of God is unchanging: He loves people. And when we seek Him for wisdom in how our lives can be more effective, more in tune with His priorities, our hearts and homes reflecting His order and love — well, we can count on Him to give it.

soak.

Last night was one of pregnancy sleep. You know — the kind where you don’t really sleep? I couldn’t get comfortable, a baby was bouncing on my organs non-stop, and then my heart started squeezing over so many things that overwhelm. Not very restful.

This morning, I wake to skies that are endless cloud and the sound of steady rain. I wrap my afghan, prepare my coffee, and sit.

It’s a day for soaking. For letting Living Water penetrate my heart and mind. For just receiving this truth:

God loves.

Me.

My soul is already perking up. Rain is such a good, good thing.

wildflowers

I love wildflowers.

We don’t have many in our fields, but if I take a walk down our country road on a June morning, there are plenty to bring home.

So many colors. Shapes. Textures. Sizes. Even the grass is worth picking and putting into a vase.

And no one planted these. They’re not there by anyone’s design. The only reason they exist is because God loves wildflowers, too. And that amazes me.

There’s a lot to be learned about the character and nature of God in this little jar of flowers, if you think about it. I think that’s why I love them so much. Something about each perfect shade, each lovely petal brings me incredible comfort and peace.

Oh, how He loves us so.

glory of it all

Sometimes, at the end of a perfectly good day that the Lord has made, my soul is rumpled with all sorts of, well, bad attitude. (Wasn’t it just this morning that I prayed, in front my little accountability partners, “Lord, thank You that we can start the day declaring Your lovingkindness, and thank You that tonight we’ll be able to proclaim Your faithfulness”? Well, that’s not exactly where my evening was heading.)

Sometimes, I wander into the entry to put a finally stamped and addressed envelope on the front table, and I hear the song Ryan’s playing in his office as he works.

Sometimes, I sit right down and happily say, “Yes. Please. An attitude check, and soul realignment, and some Truth and Reality, please.”

And the Holy Spirit does that. Right here, right in my house — the one I was just complaining is such a mess. He comes in, anyway, and does His thing.

*****

[the song:]

At the start
He was there, He was there
In the end,
He’ll be there, He’ll be there

And after all our hands have wrought
He forgives

Oh the Glory of it all is:
He came here
For the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all
for the glory of it all

All is lost
find Him there, find Him there
After night
Dawn is there, Dawn is there

After all falls apart
He repairs He repairs

Oh the Glory of it all is:
He came here
for the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all

oh He is here
for redemption from the fall
that we may live
for the glory of it all
oh the glory of it all
the glory of it all
oh the glory of it all

After night
comes the light
dawn is here
dawn is here
it’s a new day
it’s a new day
everything will change
things will never be the same
we will never be the same…

Oh, the glory of it all is
You came here
for the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all

Oh You are here
with redemption for us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all
for the glory of it all
oh the glory of it all

numbering

Sometimes, in the middle of all the work of life, I inwardly stop. I notice the speed at which life is moving, almost hear the seconds ticking away, the hours slipping past. It makes me so deeply thankful for the little gifts of each day — things that are really not so “little”, after all. (A husband I love and admire? Three children who are healthy and precious? Not so “little”.)

It also makes my heart hurt. Makes me want to clench my fist a bit tighter, in the hopes that the sands of time might get trapped for just a minute more.

But the inevitable passing of time isn’t meant to make us get stingier, more close-fisted, screeching on the brakes, resentful of each ticking second. No, learning to number our days is a wake up call: Turn your heart to wisdom. Keep eternity ever before you.

For me, right now? It means: Every day with this child is precious — and not just because childhood is fleeting, but because eternity is a reality they must be prepared to face.

Teach us to number our days — not so we can revel a bit more in the warm fuzzies, so we can take more pictures (although being thankful is so often aided by those pauses). Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

*****

Moments I’m cherishing:

waking up to two little bed partners, the sun kissing chubby cheeks and rosy lips

my pudgy-armed baby girl

brothers who live almost every single minute in togetherness

first independent trip down the slide

an oldest brother who gets his siblings situated in front of Curious George, so Mama can rest

a little girl who always says yes when asked, “Do you want a hug?”

and a repost from this past January — a photo that left a lump in my throat when I saw it last night. Two boys, proudly showing me their first independently built snowman. This day in their little lives will never be repeated, but how thankful I am to have been there to cheer and applaud them. They are so precious.