today

Today I woke up to a morning of breeze, sunshine, blue skies, and clear, cool air. Fresh. Refreshing. After a long and humid heat wave, I am very thankful. Throw open the windows and breathe it in.

Today I sat up in bed slowly, stretching my stiff body, moving slowly toward a standing position. There is no more springing out of bed these days. I do my little exercise and laugh when she tells me to “Pull in your belly button till it’s touching your spine.” I’m afraid that’s just not going to happen. Not today.

Today it is Sunday. Children sleep late after a long week of summertime fun. We will get ready for church, but we will not worry too much about morning routines of laundry and such. We will let our souls rest and focus, let our hearts ready themselves for worship. More refreshing.

Today I am 37 weeks along. I feel in my body and know in my head that I’m nearing the end, but still. I can’t quite wrap my mind around how quickly this has all gone, and how soon there will be a new person in our family.

Today my mind flits from one area of my life to another, all in so much need of growth and improvement. My brow creases, my heart feels heavy, and I wonder Will I ever get this? And today, faithfully, just like every other day, the Holy Spirit firmly reminds me of Jesus. So much — all — will be added to me, if I will but let those things fall into their place, and let Jesus take His. His yoke is easy, His burden is light: “Come to Me.”

Today, I come to Jesus.

a little order goes a long way

Open Heart — Open Home:

I already mentioned this book, and what a wonderful refresher it was on living lives poured out — for the Lord and for His Bride. After many inspirational and challenging pages on the spiritual basis for such life priorities, Karen Mains gets into some practical how-to’s:

Know the shortcuts. Have a routine. Don’t clean for company; clean according to that routine. Make a little pie-chart of your time, and really? Really, you spend that huge chunk cleaning your house instead of loving people??

Of course, she didn’t write it quite like that, but that’s how the Holy Spirit said it to me. I was simultaneously convicted and liberated (which is what usually happens when God points out an area of weakness and offers His life instead.)

I don’t want to spend most of my life behind on my housework, buried under a mountain of tedium that feels hopeless and holds me captive. The whole point of my house and the work it involves is that it be a home — a place of refuge and godly culture that impacts people.

I read that in June, and began praying for wisdom. I’m famous for getting really excited about regimens and then turning into a sergeant, dragging the rest of the family behind me. I didn’t want that. I wanted to have the wisdom of the Lord for better managing my life, so that I could more effectively bless Him. And after hemming and hawing about potentially “ruining” our summer with a new-for-this-season chore chart, I finally did it. After all, I realized, a new baby is coming, and then a new school year with two students, and the time for learning some new routines is now.

And I am so, so thankful.

We’re not living in a constant state of deep-clean, by any means, but I was able to identify some areas that continually tormented me, if you will, and got systems to conquer them:

Laundry done — folded, put away — before breakfast.
Dishwasher unloaded, dish drain emptied, sink cleaned — before breakfast.
Kitchen floor vacuumed every morning.
General tidying and cleaning every day.

And all by 10am, freeing us to play, do errands, enjoy company — planned or spontaneous — and (let’s be honest) take naps. And wake up from the nap in a fairly tidy house.

For me, front-loading my day is what works. Post-lunch has never, ever been a predictably productive time for me. Living in a just-spring-cleaned house is a pipe dream, but some order and tidiness can actually go a long way. Certain dirt bothers me more than other dirt. These are things I’m learning, things that I can take into account as I order my life and prioritize my time as housekeeper.

And new babies change everything. That’s something else I’ve learned. An unknown variable that you just have to be ready to work with.

That’s okay. Because seasons come, go, and change constantly. Each day is different, and so is each home. You’re you, and I’m me. Your family isn’t my family, and our outworking of hospitality is unique. But the heart of God is unchanging: He loves people. And when we seek Him for wisdom in how our lives can be more effective, more in tune with His priorities, our hearts and homes reflecting His order and love — well, we can count on Him to give it.

blessed

We did errands this morning, haircuts at lunchtime, and barely made it home before I had a total hunger meltdown. (I used to skip lunch and not care. Hard to believe, but true. Now, I shake and jitter and get grouchy. Well, I try not to get grumpy. I really do try.)

Then I fell asleep on the couch — out like a light — and when I woke at 3:15 to two handsome little faces watching me, I had enough energy to oblige their request for some beach time.

Three kids. Just me. This equation scares me on paper, but in reality, it works. They play together, they listen and respond quickly, they curb their desire for adventure in order to honor my requests… I am so blessed by these three fun, sweet, full-of-life kiddos.

There are so many times (like yesterday, for example) when I’m feeling pretty stretched by three not-perfect kids who need more grace and wisdom than I, in and of myself, can give.

Then there are afternoons like this one, when their sunshiny attitudes and happy demeanor just bless me. So this is my little note-to-myself. A memory quickly captured. These three kids: they are treasure.

front teeth

Then there’s this boy, who’s growing ever-so-quickly, too. Long and lanky, but still ready to curl up on my lap. Freckled cheeks that are still baby-skin soft. I lean on him more and more for help with his siblings and around the house, and he continues to thrive on the challenge of new responsibilities.

Last night, his front tooth “fell” out. (This little boy isn’t one to wait around for the tooth to just let go on its own, of course!) Today, he’s been talking with the cutest lisp, and I’m trying to not to cry over the fact that he’s about to get adult front teeth that will change this sweet little-boy face forever.

new room for Beattie

Tonight, for the first time since August 17, 2011, I came into my room at 10:30pm and turned on more than a nightlight. For the first time, I didn’t bother to tip-toe. And I didn’t spend 5 minutes stumbling around by the light of my phone, trying to find the pajamas I just had in my hands. For the first time in almost two years, our room is not being shared with a baby girl.

Instead, fresh sheets were put on the bed in the Yellow Room. The antique quilt I nabbed at an auction was spread and admired by a little girl. Dresser drawers were filled with little clothes, and Most Special dolls and animals were given a place of honor at fluffed pillows.

For the first time, we have a little girl’s bedroom in our house (which will continue to double as a guest room as needed!)

Two excited brothers eagerly volunteered to do the bedtime reading and prayers. They kissed her forehead and tucked her in tight. She beamed.

Know what’s funny? Her favorite color is yellow. How thrilled do you think she was to look up and all around and see golden yellow wallpaper? Thrilled.

Our little baby. Growing up.

getting ready for baby

It’s starting to get pretty real:

— the growing belly
— the slower walk
— the acrobatics that begin every time I lay down
— the sudden days of exhaustion
— the always-in-the-back-of-my-mind awareness of a baby.

I’ll enjoy a bit more time of just thinking about a new baby before I dive into earnest birth preparations. For now, getting ready looks like:

— starting to feel like maybe it’s time to actually think about names. (I keep waiting for one to just be spelled out in the clouds or something.)
— talking more about a new baby with Beatrice. She sort of gets it, I guess: she will gently rub my belly and whisper, “shhh” in her most soothing ‘baby’ voice.
— walking as close to every day as possible, stretching, and doing simple toning exercises.
— laying down without apology.

Any favorite baby name sites to recommend?

Hi, I'm Danica.

Post Category → motherhood