Post Category → books

books: parenting by the book

The second is this, Parenting by the Book (“the Book” being the Bible.)

Once I started this, I couldn’t put it down. It was one of the most refreshing perspectives on parenting I’ve read in a long time. An accomplished child psychologist who got saved after having spent his entire life devoted to family psychology, John Rosemond dispels myth after myth of humanistic modern parenting. He reminds us that only two or three generations ago, people’s ideas on children were largely formed by a biblical perspective — and their expectations for what parenting would be like, and for how children would turn out, were radically different than what we currently see.

He pointed out near the beginning of the book that “the raising of a child, once a fairly straightforward, commonsense affair, has become the single most stressful thing a woman will do in her lifetime.” That’s not the way God planned it, “but then, God’s way is not modern psychology’s way, either.”

For several weeks before getting this book, I’d been sort of haunted by the suspicion that somehow parenting — what was to me becoming a behemoth, complex task threatening to overtake my sanity — used to be simpler. More straightforward.

And then I read this:

Mothers today are among the most stressed out “professionals” in the world — worried, frazzled, pressured, unsure, and jumping through continual hoops.

That hasn’t always been the case. It used to be that non-college educated women, without the help of a single book written by someone with a Ph.D at the end of their name, used to raise respectful, hard-working, God-fearing children — and they did it without the task consuming the entirety of their mental, emotional, and physical reserves.

Goodness. Don’t you want to get back to that?

This book helped so much to reinforce the simple, clear goals of biblical child-rearing that I’ve learned from my parents — but that get so continually eroded by the parenting-trend-following mommies all around me.

My favorite part: His chapters on self-esteem, what a totally unbiblical concept that is, and how much destruction it brings.

My least favorite part: His rather lousy exposition in the last chapters on discipline. He should just state his opinions without trying to be an expert theologian. I think. ;)

books: future men

I’ve read quite a few good books in the last 6 (or so) months. I won’t tell you about how much I love Poirot, how my very first Dorothy Sayers novel kept me from household responsibilities (and sleep) until I finished it, or how glad I was for an excuse to read several Dear Diary books. But there are several reads that, I think, are worth mentioning.

This is the first.

Overall, fabulous.

He challenges us to a close look at biblical masculinity, lest we confuse it with current culture’s expectations. This trickles down to what to expect from your young hooligan (and what to allow — outdoors), how to approach education, how to interact with mothers and sisters, and what manners to enforce and why. It also means teaching boys to value wisdom, work and diligence, purity, strength, justice, prudence, and respect. (Those also are all topics well-covered in the book.)

As I read, I was inspired by the call to shape fine, strong arrows — to rise to the task of training young men who will take the world by storm. And of course, inherent in all that I mentioned above is the expectation that parents must first model and show their commitment to godliness in incredibly practical, every-single-day ways.

(One of my favorite tid-bits? The difference between rest and laziness: Rest is preparation for continued work. I like that.)

books: simple suppers

I love this cookbook.

It is exactly what it says: simple suppers. I need to remember simple suppers, as I tend to get carried away.

It’s easier to keep things simple when they are this yummy.

You should at least get this from your library. Of course, that comes with a warning: my library’s copy sat on my kitchen counter for the maximum number of weeks, and then I just bought my own. Who doesn’t need a staple cookbook that inspires you to try new flavors, keep things simple, and maintain a healthy diet?

Plus, it has all the basic recipes one could ever need (vinaigrettes, pesto, hummus, chutney…), AND it includes a complete list of their “pantry staples”. (Some dishes include lots of fresh stuff, but some are all pantry items. Can you say practical??) And every recipe ends with a menu suggestion — sides, salads, desserts, grains, etc.

Pasta dishes, soups, creative bean dishes, salads, desserts, and mouth-watering pictures. GO FOR IT!!

(Heads-up: This is written for a pescatarian diet and is a bit tofu-heavy. It doesn’t deter me; I just substitute chicken! And who knows, maybe one day I’ll actually like the stuff. Ick.)

leftovers

Years ago I heard that Susan Brown, mother of many, would say that some days all the devotions she could get was reading a Bible story to her kids. That, I knew, was something worth remembering.

Fast forward to this past week, and you’ll find me reading Bible stories to Jameson at lunch every day. He’s recently become very enamored with Jesus, and wants nothing to do with Old Testament stories (even though, you know, every story whispers His name…) He’s not happy unless I can point to the illustration of Jesus — and then we can proceed. Anyway, his very favorite selection he calls The Food Story, otherwise known to us more learned adults as The Feeding of the 5,000. We’ve read it many times.

And can I just say, wow.

I’m so blessed by that story.

I’ve noticed this week that:

:: Jesus used kid food. Nothing fancy, just, you know, pb&j. Kinda like me. I don’t usually feel much more special than that.

:: Jesus took what wasn’t enough to begin with and managed to end up with leftovers. Leftovers. The mere mention of the word abundance makes my dry and tired soul stir, and that’s the word I see all over Jesus’ miracle.

:: Jesus lifted this piddly little lunchbox to heaven, blessed it, and… it was still a piddly lunchbox. But it managed to feed 5,000. And I think, how often do I say, “God, You’re going to have to multiply my grace/patience/ability/energy, because it’s just not enough,” and then I expect to see some abra cadabra za-za-zing thing happen, when that’s just not Jesus’ style. There was no *poof* moment when suddenly, before their very eyes, the mountaintop was covered with loaves and fish[es]. And there just may not ever be that moment in my life, either. And that’s okay. He can still feed 5,000.

:: And there will be leftovers. Did I mention that? Amazing.

So yeah. I look around at the untidy corners and surfaces of my house, see my boys who need, need, need, wonder what’s for dinner because I’m starving, not to even mention my poor husband, and there is never a Fairy Godmother who shows up and snaps her magic fingers. But there’s me, humble and pb&j-ish as I am, and I never look like much more than how I started, but amazingly, He multiplies. I put my hand to the plow, lift my efforts to heaven, say, “Use me to feed them,” and He does.

And maybe, just maybe, there will even be leftovers.

why we’re not emergent.

Now that I’ve finished this book — and yes, I was sad to see it end! — I thought I would just give a little plug for it.

My friend tells me that the Emergent church “died” a couple of weeks ago. I suppose that could make this book a bit irrelevant, except that the thinking and attitudes behind the movement still exist. Theooze.com is still up and running, and to me, that makes the book still worth reading.

Kluck and DeYoung do a great job at treating this subject. While there certainly are a few jabs at the emergent church, and a laugh here and there at their expense, it is primarily a fantastic apologetic work — meaning, here’s what they say, here’s what that means theologically, and here’s what the Bible says. I really appreciated them keeping on track. Meaning, it’s not a big long diatribe against a movement that happened to get under their skin. It’s a sincere warning sounded by two guys who see very real danger ahead.

They also do a good job at pointing out historical errors the emergent church makes. Truthfully (and these are my words), the emergent church movement is much like the 14 year old son who thinks his dad is so dumb, not realizing that in seven more years, he will discover his dad a genius. In a fit of adolescent pride and self-indulgence, “leaders” of the emergent movement are ready to throw out 2000 years of church history and claim to have discovered the true meaning of Jesus’ teachings. One can only hope that in seven years, they’ll discover the countless churches around the world who have embraced solid doctrine and are serving orphans and widows.

After reading this book, I was reminded again of how very central the gospel must be in our teaching, and in our message to the world. Anything other than Christ crucified, risen, and returning, and you have just another message of bondage to the law, and the false hope of utopia on earth. Jesus is the Head of the Church and the hope of the world.

I want to live for Him.

big happenin’s

:: Liana and Camilla are arriving tomorrow evening. Do you know how excited I am? Of course, there’s the usual yay-my-family-is-coming sort of excitement. But it’s a bit more, too. I love having a huge family, and I love being the oldest — except for the part about being grown up, out of the house, and across the country when the youngest set is still growing up. Way too sad. So getting to spend a whole month with my youngest sisters is an extra-special blessing for me. I can’t wait for all of the special and everyday moments we’ll share this month.

:: William plays peekaboo. It’s so cute. You’ll have to take my word for it, because I don’t have the video, but it is over-the-top adorable. So is the bit of babbling he’s been trying out lately. Oh, that boy is the sweetest!

:: I’m not usually trying to find ways to ditch my kids. I actually love having them around. That’s okay, right? Occasionally, someone will communicate their deep pity for me when William screams his head off in the arms of a total stranger. You know — you poor thing, you never get any break. As my friend at church said, “Well, that’s kind of what we signed up for.” Yup, and I love it. All that said, when Ryan offered to take not just Jameson this evening, but William, too, I jumped on it. I’m beat. I’m now also totally lost. What to do, what to do? (I opted for the just sit option.)

:: I’ve been slowly working my way through Why We’re Not Emergent, and am loving it. I don’t have much to say about it right now — simply that it’s nice to put words to my gut instincts (which these guys do), and I’m realizing anew how much I love ancient boundaries. (There. I managed to not even rant. Not even a bit.)

:: My two sisters are coming! And did I mention that they’ll be filling my house with violin and piano for a whole month? Do you know how much I miss a house full of music? (Because, no, I don’t sit and play the piano all day. And yes, back home there is always someone playing something. Always.)

:: I shall now continue my restorative sitting.