posting is like pulling teeth sometimes

I can’t believe that we’re plowing ahead, into September. I wonder if back home, there’s that autumn smell in the air in the early mornings. It’s certainly not that way here. No, I’m fighting off very high temperatures every day, doing the old quick-close-the-windows-NOW! routine.

So not much sense of a new season for me, I’m afraid. The swing into autumn is probably the season I miss the most. Soon (after I’ve finally finished rearranging and such) I’ll pull out some fall candles and make a pot of roasted butternut squash soup. And that will help me mark the time a bit better.

That, and the fact that there’s a baby coming, sooner than I realize. Wow.

I haven’t been posting much, I know. Between pregnancy and heat, it feels like my brain has been, uh, waveless? Something like that. Thinking hasn’t been the top priority, I guess you could say. I think it’s time for me to make myself post every day for one week straight, just to get the juices flowing again.

So.

Hold me to it? K.

enjoying…

…a little man who’s growing up so fast. He fills our days with energy and laughs, boo-boos and songs, kisses and hugs and life. Oh, how we love him. Even when he cries his head off the whole walk home from Trader Joe’s, there’s something about his toddler intensity that just makes me smile.

His second birthday is approaching, and his daddy and I sat for two hours on the couch last night, looking for just the right presents. How much fun is it to look at toys and realize that his little imagination is going to blossom and develop, and that his childhood days will be filled with memories provided by these special things — just like mine were. It’s too much fun. I can’t wait for September 15th!

One of my favorite moments of the day? When I first open my eyes in the early morning and see his sweet baby blues staring right back at me. And he caresses my cheek and says, “Hi, Mom.”

feeling…

Somewhere in these last two weeks, I suddenly began to feel…well, pregnant. Funny how for weeks and weeks, people ask, “So how are you feeling?,” and you think to yourself, “Huh. I guess fine, ’cause I haven’t given it a second thought.” And then suddenly, one morning, you feel…well, pregnant.

And I’ll write out what I mean by that, since I seem to totally and completely forget during that blissful second trimester that I happily, ignorantly traipse through.

Pregnant: Exhausted. Out of breath. Out of shape. Sore. Aching back. Swollen feet. Swollen fingers. Swollen everything. Actually, just fat. Grumpy-ish (sorry, Ry.) Uncomfortable. Strange constant pressure on bladder (strange because it’s pressure from the outside, as opposed to the inside.) Strange pressure elsewhere that suddenly makes walking a huge endeavor. Did I mention out of shape? Yeah.

I kind of sort of forgot about this part. I guess it’s a little late now to back out? Yeah.

The bad news: Other things that I’ve kind of sort of forgotten about are inevitably going to come, and they will be far less fun.

The good news: This is not a malady. This is pregnancy. That means that there’s a baby at the end of all this.

(I wish I was mature enough to remember that when I’m fretting over my fat face in the morning. Sheesh.)

“mom” days

There have been moments in the last two years when I feel like a “real” mom. Usually it’s when I’m in the middle of something that I so clearly remember my own mother doing.

Yesterday was one of those days. I suddenly decided to totally rearrange bedrooms. This included moving queen sized beds, dresses, disassembling a crib, removing a door, etc — all while very pregnant, and with only an excited toddler to help. The most enjoyable part of it all, including even the outcome, was thinking about how many times I’d seen my own big-bellied mama hauling dressers up and down the stairs, while we little people jumped around (in her way, under her feet) with excitement about something “new”.

Of course, last night my body ached so much that I literally couldn’t even fall asleep. (How frustrating; after dreaming about laying down all day long, I couldn’t even enjoy the moment!) Ryan suggested that after three long days of deep cleaning and rearranging, I take a down day. Rest this body, give a little attention to the baby inside, relax. Do something fun.

So I slept in a bit.

And then I made chocolate chip scones.

I lit a candle, turned on Diana Krall, and am having a lovely little breakfast with my favorite buddy (who thinks chocolate chips for breakfast is about as good as it gets!) He’s making me laugh, imitating the squirrels we see out the window. I think later I’ll go grocery shopping, tidy things up a bit, maybe walk to the playground — and generally resist the urge to delve into the last room waiting for an overhaul.

(Now he’s making me laugh with his little head-bops, closing his eyes when he’s really getting into the music. Who taught him this stuff? What a ham…)